Hang in there.
Sounds like my middle son.
He could always take a field trip while sitting in the classroom staring out the window. The ultimate space cadet.
His IQ is literally at the top of the charts. He was a National Merit Scholar in high school, eventually earning two engineering degrees. But the structure of school was always hard. We found that the more challenging classes were actually easier for him, because they kept his attention.
In grade school, he could never get dressed on time, never tied his shoes (and often just carried them!), never finished his homework (but could ace tests). If you asked him his name, he’d have to stand looking at you and think about it. He just lived in another world.
In junior high, his teachers called me in one day. He was so spacey, they thought he was on drugs. Trust me, he wasn’t, and he wasn’t trying to be “different.” He just was.
If your boy needs meds, try it. It will be easier on the teacher and much easier on you. But it will likely also drain some of his creativity.
The best advice I ever got from one of the many experts we consulted was to just enjoy my son the way he was. Love, and discipline, and lots of guidance, but acceptance, too.
Pulling for you.
Thanks for the advice. I am finding techniques that work very well at home. For example for the flash cards of words he needs to learn this year – if I do it the normal way he looses focus real fast, looking around the room, fidgeting, anything but focusing on the word and trying to sound it out. But if I turn it into a TV-like game show and have him hit one of those Staples “That Was Easy” buttons when he knows the answer – he gets totally focused. I make it fun and offer a small prize as a goal for him, and I speak in the game show host voice. He loves it, and don’t get frustrated with him.