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"Fact: Mike Huckabee calls himself a Republican, but functionally he’s a pro-life Democrat. He’s a big government, tax-and-spend proponent of the Nanny State, who supports a nationwide smoking ban, government-sponsored wellness programs and more government regulation of private industries, such as minimum wage increases. He also has a grossly liberal record on illegal immigration."

That just about sums it up for me...

Mike Huckabee = RINO

1 posted on 01/08/2008 8:59:41 PM PST by DogByte6RER
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To: DogByte6RER

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t screw with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Chuck Norris’ wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, “don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.


72 posted on 01/09/2008 3:41:27 AM PST by mirkwood (Thompson/Hunter 08)
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To: DogByte6RER

Good morning Campers!

I’m your Uncle Chucky
And I welcome you to Hucky’s Holiday Camp
The camp with the difference
Nevermind the weather
When you come to Hucky’s
The holiday’s forever
Bwahahahahahaha!

Welcome...


76 posted on 01/09/2008 6:46:42 AM PST by LRS (It's time to put Hillary on the 3:10 to Yuma...)
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To: DogByte6RER

His flip flop on “anchor babies” showed him to be also a blatant liar. He and Hillary are winners of the fasts flip flops in this election.


81 posted on 01/09/2008 7:32:35 AM PST by Jane Austen
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To: DogByte6RER

Fact:

All Chuck Norris has done is make movies we’ve all seen for four decades, and made millions of dollars. Much of which he’s used for charity work.

Fact:

Chuck Norris had a prime time television series that was wildly popular during its run, is in syndication, and always had good guys and bad guys, with a moral to the story at its conclusion. We sorely lack that today in prime time you may notice.

Fact:

I think Huckabee is a pro Life Democrat hiding in Republican clothing...but trashing Norris is counter productive, given he’s done more for kids alone than anyone that might check into this forum.


83 posted on 01/09/2008 7:36:23 AM PST by Badeye (No thanks, Huck, I'm not whitewashing the fence for you this election cycle)
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To: DogByte6RER
"Fact: Chuck Norris is such a bad actor that even Keanu Reeves flips the channel whenever he sees Chuck on TV."

Ouch!

84 posted on 01/09/2008 7:39:15 AM PST by FishTale
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