Why Hillary Will Lose Iowa

This couple (they didn't want to be named, and so I'll call them Mr. and Mrs. Dubuque), were typical of the Democrats I talked to across the Hawkeye State last week. They were generally happy with all three of their party's front runners and determined to beat the Republicans. Mr. Dubuque had settled on Obama, but his wife was undecided, between Obama and John Edwards.

They weren't Clinton haters -- both of them liked her Senate record and would be happy to support her in November -- but it was clear to them Shaheen's comments, while couched as a fear of Republican dirty tricks, were a smear, and one typical of Hillary. The idea that she wasn't at all behind it was not credible to them.

Before I brought up Shaheen's comments, Mrs. Dubuque said she wouldn't caucus for Clinton. "Hillary's more of the same-old," she told me. "Everything's so ugly in Washington. We need a change, and I don't think Hillary is it." ~~~snip~~~

This election is about CHANGE.

So why would you vote for Obama? He is only the candidate for Change.

Now Hillary on the other hand is the candidate for “Change, Change, Change”.

That’s right. TRIPLE the amount of Change promised by any other progressive candidate !!!

Why with Hillary, I can GUARANTEE you that she will support your position and fully advocate it for at least 10 mili-seconds of every day. You and Hillary will be on the same page, you will be one, she will channel your every thought for those 10 mili-seconds.

Why Hillary is so good at “Change, Change, Change” that she can even advocate three diametrically opposing positions in the same sentence. Can Obama do that?

Hillary will bring “Change, Change, Change” to America. When she stakes out a position for this country, you can be sure that she will Change it at least three times before the sun sets.

Those troops in Iraq? Why she will get them on a plane and fly them home as soon as she is sworn in. She then promises that she will change her mind, just as the troop reach the continental U.S. and send them straight back to Iraq. Furthermore, she certifies that she will once against change her mind just as they reach the Gulf and recall the troops once again.
Hillary ‘the Weathervane’ Clinton can spin through each and every position in a single debate without breaking a sweat.

Now I know this is causing you some concern.

What about all of the injuries this will cause to those stolid, stodgy, slow Republicans who can only take and hold one position on an issue for decades.

Well don’t worry, Hillary has the answer for that as well.

It is part of her new health care proposal. The ‘weathervane’ is going to provide free vertigo medication and whiplash health care to all conservatives.

So remember, Vote “Change, Change, Change” this fall.

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