I've been there too. Matter of fact I demanded the police arrest my 18 yr old daughter after 60 grand in rehabs & her stealing from us & everyone she could. I had to threaten the police I would go the the newspaper just to get them to go get her on warrants she already had. Why did I do this to her people may ask? Well it was to save her life because dope was killing her. Nothing worked so yes I did what was IMHO the only thing left ..jail. I got a lot of BS over it but the fact is she is sober , straight & has a beautiful home, husband & 2 yr old. She knows if I hadn't made the choice I did she would be in the ground. Dope was not the drug of choice when I was younger so I didn't have a clue of the signs until I saw the needle marks. She was sneaky & smart & I truly was stupid. Her grades were great, she was in gifted & talented classes. Then boom she was an addict. We all went through hell. We thought what did we do that was wrong. It wasn't us, it was peer pressure & my daughter going along with her friends. And making the choice to stick a needle in her arm. She doesn't like talking about it but I still have questions as to why she was so dumb. Most of that group are dead now. Thankfully she is alive & I thank God each day for that.
I've lived poor & I've lived rich. Now I live comfortably. I've been stalked by an ex boyfriend & it was hell. The law did nothing for me. But I didn't give into fear. I got a gun & in my state that gun was illegal at that time & now its long gone. But I can remember well the fear I had & the nightmares of those days still come & go.
I am married to a hardcore biker who is one of the best men I know. He came into my life when I had 5 teens & he made them straighten up. He is a wonderful daddy to our 8 yr old daughter too. People look at him & can have their own opinions. I really don't care. What I do find very funny is that in my upper middle class neighborhood everyone loves my husband. The bus stop moms bake cookies for him. The guys all want to talk bikes with him . My neighbors feel safer that he lives here . I have tattoos & I could give a hoot who likes me or dislikes me because of them. Its what is inside of a person that counts, not the outside. I do however wish I didn't have some of them . But I was young & dumb, you live & you learn..
I have a few friends who have had mental issues. He11 I've had to have had them in my life too but I just don't know how to have a breakdown. I've always been too busy. I'm very proud to list you as one of my friends. Hugs ~Pandy~
I understand all too well. I got my checks stolen for I don't know how many times from my oldest, finally had a gut full and went to the police. The lady at the desk said I really didn't want to do that, did I? I backed off, but later got papers to have her committed, need second family member, my son went down with me. Had a hearing, and I was so nervous, the judge let her go so she ran off to CA. Another time I had three of the girls (my two and my ex's wife's daughter) go to jail for stealing my car, hated to do it, but had to. It was a scene from hell. What did I do wrong? The first time any of them stole something, I marched them back into the store, made them give it back and made them apologize. I prayed for years for a "savior" like you got. The only reason it worked for you is that he earned your kids' respect, must be a heck of a guy. Never happened for me, don't mind any more. That daughter finally quit the drugs but still drinks too much at times, but is doing better than I expected to see. We sound like a bad family. I was an overwhelmed single mom, things were pretty good until they hit the teens, peer pressure, by this time you couldn't spank them, so I'd ground them, and they sneaked out the window. I can't talk about the rest of it. Glad your daughter is alive; somebody must be watching over her. You are a strong person. Who cares if your husband is a biker? I don't care about your tattoos, you don't judge a book by its cover. There are several more here or were.
I'm so glad your daughter straightened up. My gf from an affluent family went through it, too. Broken home, father AWOL. It affects the kids. Her health is poor, and she has to work still. I blamed myself for years, but no more. I came straight home from work every night, cooked for them, quit going out on weekends, tried to be the best mom I knew how.
The other day I got a memory back. My mother used to taunt me with "I hope you have two girls just like you." Well, she wasn't an evil mom, and I had a good father, and looking back except for just a couple things, I was a good daughter, always did what she asked without complaining, always but once made my curfew, never embarassed them by getting into trouble. Well she got her wish tenfold. I know now if she could see how things went, she would be sorry for all the bad things she said to me.
To this day, I only keep one book of checks in my purse and the rest hidden. I am paranoid about it still and sometimes check the numbers. One of her friends came into the house while I was in the back room and pulled the same thing. I check my balance, it is way low. Man, I can't afford to lose that much money, put 2 & 2 together on why those 3 checks were missing, so I had to report it to the police or the credit union ins wouldn't cover it. I was suspect, too, had to give handwriting samples, they don't know but what you colluded with it. She went to jail for it. I was afraid of her, big strapping girl. They were supposed to notify me when she was released and she was supposed to pay back $30, neither happened. I didn't want her showing up at the door anyway, heck with the $30.
That dope is terrible, we didn't even know what pot was when I was in school. Nobody did that. I read in papers about heroin addicts in NY or I wouldn't have known there was such a thing.
I count you a dear friend, too.