There is no guarantee that a person will ever "come to his or her senses" and come home. In my state, you have to be separated for a year if the parties agrees and two years if only one party wants to end the marriage in order to obtain a NFD. If someone has left the marriage for two years or more, chances are that they are never coming back.
I'm guessing the kids will know the difference....in the former scenario, there's always the possibility that the mother and father can get back together.
I would think it would be worse for children to hold on to false hope for years rather than to accept reality.
No, there isn't, you're right. But even that tiny percentage is still more than zero.
I would think it would be worse for children to hold on to false hope for years rather than to accept reality.
It's not a "false" hope, it is a hope for something that may be very improbable but which there still remains the possibility.
And hope is a virtue. "Reality" is not. If you want to see a sad, sad child, find one a little too acquainted with reality and a little too unacquainted with hope.