A bishop died and went to Heaven. After he checked in, St. Peter showed him to his new accomodations, a 10x10 concrete cell with a single bare lightbulb hanging over a cot. Then a cardinal appeared at the Pearly Gates and was brought to his new quarters, an identical 10x10 concrete cell. Not long after, a lawyer arrived in Heaven and was shown his new accomodations, a 6,000 square foot estate on 2 acres of clouds, with a pool, jacuzzi, and sauna.
The bishop and cardinal were furious and complained to St. Peter, “We’ve devoted our lives to God, and we are given tiny barren rooms! But the lawyer got a luxurious place!”
St. Peter explained, “We get bishops and cardinals up here all the time. But this is special. We’ve never had a lawyer before.”
:-)
As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he asked, “Why are all the blinds drawn?
The nurse answered, “There’s a big fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”