Sorry, but advising men not to marry just because you personally are bitter is nonsense.
Better advice is to advise your sons on the type of woman they should be marrying, and open truth about what marriage is and what it requires.
If a woman is stuck on her needs, don’t marry her.. if she’s stuck on materialism don’t marry her... if she’s stuck on her career don’t marry her... If she views a traditional family and wife and motherhood as evil, don’t marry her.... If she can’t keep a home, don’t marry her.. if she can’t cook, think long and hard before you marry her.
If you as a man are contemplating marriage you as well need to know your needs and desires will come last, especially once the children are born. If you cannot and will not put your family first, don’t get married.... don’t think it will be easy.. don’t be naive and think that love will conquer all. All the love in the world cannot save some relationships.
Certainly you should love your spouse and she should love you, but keep your eyes open. Be pragmatic and practicle and marry a woman who is the same. IF she doesn’t believe in God, and that we all serve a greater purpose and are here for a reason, even if we have no idea personally what it is, don’t marry her.
Finally never ever marry a woman who does not laugh, and that you cannot make laugh, and that cannot make you laugh. If she cannot laugh at herself, run away, run far far away. Life is hard, its full of unpleasantness, with moments of pure joy sprinkled in. Laugher will be the only thin that will get you through the rough spots.
Never be to proud to say I’m sorry when you are, and never marry a woman who is to proud to say she’s sorry when she is. Do not take her for granted, and never marry someone who takes you for granted.
Basically be pragmatic when deciding to get married, not naive and ideolistic. No its no guarantee that you won’t wind up divorced someday.. but you’ll reduce the odds greatly.
Outstanding advice.
Excellent post.
You had me until there. I worked, but always believed that the best way for me to give to a family would be to stay at home once I had children. I worked in a daycare right out of college, and that cemented my beliefs. I couldn't cook (very well) until I became a stay at home mom. Now, I am quite accomplished in the kitchen.
Moral of the story. If the beliefs (ie--staying at home, raising children, cooking from scratch, having a clean home) are important, she can learn it. To be a good cook, one has to only have the desire to do it and the ability to read. :)
Also, if you don't want children, there is no need to ever get married.
Well said. I’m printing that out for my son.
“Finally never ever marry a woman who does not laugh, and that you cannot make laugh, and that cannot make you laugh. If she cannot laugh at herself, run away, run far far away. Life is hard, its full of unpleasantness, with moments of pure joy sprinkled in. Laugher will be the only thin that will get you through the rough spots.”
Right on.