I disagree. It may take one who wants to end the marriage, but how it got to that point was caused by both.
That's the Rotary Club answer, sure, but I can all but guarantee you it's not the case more often than you think it is. Especially when it comes to adultery.
That is the lie sold by therapy crowd for their own benefit. The fact is it's as much crap as "everyone has a right to happiness." Lots of people say it, but few actually examine it for validity.
” It may take one who wants to end the marriage, but how it got to that point was caused by both.”
Not always true...there are plenty of completely innocent spouses - male and female - who were stomped on by selfish jerks.
This thread mentions the calculating cold woman who screws the man over - but it often happens the other way as well. There are plenty of men sleeping around and ditching their first wives for a younger model.
In the end - if one person has decided to be self-centered, then the whole thing is likely to crash.
My hubby and I had everything working against us. We were told we were too young.
Our original plan when we first became engaged was to have a 2 yr. engagement and get married after I graduated college.
Well...the 2 yrs quickly became a 6 month engagement instead, and I wound up a young married mom commuting to a local university.
We had many people advising us against the wedding.
Well...it’s 20 years later and we’ve added 7 more little ones.
And when we look back, we have to admit that going to church, having a prayer life - that was an enormous bonus.
We got the message early on that marriage is not about “self”, but is instead about self-sacrifice.
People getting married should do so because they want to actively love their spouse and children - give them everything they’ve got.
It’s about giving - not getting.
It is hard work, and I often do thank God, but I’m not sure I do every day...this thread has reminded me that I really should.
I have to disagree with your statement. Many are the model husband or wife whose spouse decided they didn't want to be married anymore, that the grass looked greener on the other side of the fence, etc. The bottom line is that you can't control your spouse's commitment and character by your model behaviour. It helps, yes, but if your spouse decides he/she doesn't want to honor their vows, you can do all the right things to encourage their staying, but if they decide to leave anyway, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.