Hey, all you people throwing stones at this woman...QUIT! You just do not know. I work in children’s psychiatric services and this really sounds like RAD, or Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is hell for the adoptive parents to deal with. These children have been through so much, they do not trust anyone who loves them, yet are sweet and loving to total strangers. I see so many foster children in the facility I work at who suffer from this. Sometimes these children just never do work through this, even with the most loving, understanding, wanting to adopt them, foster parents. So DO NOT judge what you all DO NOT understand and have NEVER seen first hand. I have seen children sweet one moment then hitting, biting and screaming the next the foster parent who came to see them. Just giving them love is not enough here. The bond just does not develop between them and who wants to adopt them at times. It is heartbreaking, but does happen.
My husband and I adopted our daughter 1 and 1/2 years ago at the age of 18 months. Her birth family beat, starved, sold her sexually to pay for their drugs. Our daughter has RAD (reactive attachment disorder). She was aggressive, hoarding and gorging food, she was sexual toward anyone, defiant, would not look at my husband and I in the eye. But we found that NOT getting mad at her for the behavior work for us. She did not attach right away, but who would if the situation she came form was ours. Everyday was a reaffirmation that we love her and will not be abandoning her. Our social worker introduced us to a really good therapist. Heather T. Forbes. We were no longer alone in our battle to help our baby girl over come her past. Heather Forbes is partners with B. Bryan Post, and have written a really good book on RAD. "Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control". It is a “Love Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged children With Severe Behaviors”. It is like our parenting guide. It took our daughter about 6 months in total to come around. She is such a typical 3 year old now. She has moment where is might revert to some not normal behavior, but she trust us to help her come to terms with what ever it is. She knows that she has 2 moms and 2 dads. We respect that. We respect them for doing the right thing in placing her for adoption because they could not and would not do the right thing. Some day our dauhgter will need to know her biological parent, to see that she has a past, a present and a wonderful future.
If you know a family that is in crisis due to RAD this is a wonderful book that you can purchase at: www.beyondconsequences.com
There are ways to help the children of our future. These children will grow up to be the ones to rule our nation and we want them to have all the tools to do so.