but RAD kids who are unredeemable are RARE, even among children who have RAD characteristics. there is a LOT you can do with children devastated by early attachment breaks. You just have to KNOW what you’re getting yourself into, and be stronger than the pain of the child. I deal with parents every week who ask me for help and input about their adopted children’s issues. There is so much help available now. And knowing personally the love of God can turned EVERYTHING around, in understanding the power of redemption for your foster / adopted child.
I guess I see the opposite, the truly fixed’ RAD child is rare. (at least that’s what I’ve seen and been told). I’m not saying they are all serial killers or going to prison, just that they usually aren’t the ‘huggy, kissy, touchy, feely’ kind of child. A person wanting to feel loved and validated by a RAD-ish will be very disappointed. They usually will have a degree of emotional distance and isolation that will make bonding in the classic sense rare.
Granted, I’m not throwing these kids under the bus, just understanding that their emotional depth and breadth will always be different is a big step in working with them.