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To be a Republican you need to believe:

1. Jesus loves EVERYONE, even those who deny Him. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Some seek to celebrate their sins.

2. Stalin was a good guy when we teamed with him to defeat Adolph Hitler but ultimately a bad man who killed millions more than Hitler did. It took Communists like Pete Seger 40 years to admit the horrors of Stalinism.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is a dictatorship.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations; their sex abuse scandals far out weigh those publicized about the Catholic Church. The 3 major nations (Germany, France, and Russia) that opposed resuming our war with Iraq were receiving bribes from Saddam. The UN resolutions meant nothing to Saddam but we were “wrong” to go into Iraq because it is a “sovereign nation”. America’s soverignty means nothing to the Left.

5. The woman’s body ENDS at the umbilical cord. What is at the other end is another life. Child abuse sucks.

6. Clinton spent the peace dividend and savaged our military strength. If the national guard are overworked, perhaps we should increase the military budget.

7. Condoms in schools was not about ending teen pregnancy or ending STDs. It was about advancing the Sex Positive “just say yes” agenda. It forever shifted the debate from IF kids should be having sex to WHEN...

8. A good way to prolong the war is to provide continued aid and comfort to the enemy with deceitful propaganda from phony soldiers confessing to phony war crimes in regions committed under service that never served. The enemy uses such rants to recruit new jihadists and to justify their own Islamonazi horrors.

9. I keep waiting for the reparations to be paid out after the War on Poverty is finally won.

10. Few make the case that creationism should be taught as SCIENCE but even fewer are willing to teach that evolution is a theory and not established fact.

11. Lying under oath in a court of law is perjury. Selective redacted quotes is cheese and whine. What part of I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN was unclear or vague?

12. Constitutional amendments are by their very nature CONSTITUTIONAL.

13. Remember how you heard that Al Gore Junior won the popular vote in 2000? His certified margin of victory was 0.51% more of the vote. The October Surprise release of the “breaking news” of GW Bush’s decades old DWI arrest clearly cost him soem votes. Was it enough to sway the election? No. But Pope Al Gore hoped it would.

14. Many people are addicted to prescription and black market drugs. Some like JFK had their finger on the nuclear button while they were incapacitated. Feel safer now? When was the last time a radio host held that sort of power?

15. I have no idea what this even means.

16. Was GW AWOL in the 1980s? Did he enlist and then write a letter telling how he loathed the military? Oh wait, GW Bush invested in the R-rated Disney films of the 1980s. Yes, they are the same.

17. Must be hard to live down the murder committed by Teddy Kennedy and the KKK recruiter Senator Robert Byrd.