[Sender]

My condolences go out to you both. My Mom is 83 and has dementia and Alzheimers. She not only lost most of her memory but had quite a few very bad days when she was really psychotic, imagining other families living upstairs, thinking she was in someone else's house and wanting to go home, and outright angry, shrieking, insane outbursts against people including me.

She is doing better now, partly by better controlling her diabetes, and they put her on 2 drugs, trazadone and another antipsychotic. I hate to see her drugged but there have been few insane outbursts since she started them.

I know her time left is limited, and there's not much I can do except try to make her happy and ensure she has lots of human contact to stay stimulated.

Not all the psych drugs are bad. At least with the drugs, I can call Mom and have a civil if rambling conversation with her. Before the drugs, she would just curse and hang up.

[Mr Rogers]

You have my sympathy as you go thru a very tough time of life. It can be hard when your Mom is not your Mom anymore. Mine was on several drugs to prevent recurrence of breast cancer, plus some anti-psychotics. Once we stopped the cancer medicine, which could cause psychotic episodes, we were able to stop the anti-psychotics - but that is just our experience. It certainly isn’t a rule, and anti-psychotics can be wonderful. After several rough years, she was finally calming down and behaving a bit more rationally at the end.

I also had an Uncle who died from emphysema years ago. he was vicious to my aunt...my Mom said he was cruelest to the ones he loved the most, but that I needed to remember that wasn’t John, but the disease destroying him. It helped to remember that when my Mom started going thru the same things.

Best wishes for you and your Mom as you face these challenges. The last 6-7 years have been an eye-opening experience for me.