Hey, didn’t the ancients use to sacrifice people to appease the sun? Maybe if we offered the sun Al Gore, it would cease to smite us with it’s mighty smiting? It’s certainly worth a shot. Somebody please think of the children!
In Central America human sun god sacrifices are not really that ancient. In more modern times we make sacrifice of our freedoms. Socialism has become the new sacrificial altar. At any rate, apparently we may have sacrificed just enough of our freedoms. Sol is not angry with us right now and we have apparently pleased him. Solar Cycle 24 is late and that usually means it will be weak. Solar Cycle 25 was already predicted to be one of the weakest in modern times. So get out the Cosmic Ray Tanning Butter and the Fur Coats.
Uh. They were usually pretty virgins. If I were the sun expecting a virgin and got a fat blowhard instead, I'm thinking I'd just cook the Earth on high for a few years.
