One way to avoid stress on your system is to limit the amount of water that flows through it. The more liquids that it has to handle, the shorter the time that solids suspended in that liquid are in the tank(s) to break down. As such, low flow toilets and shower heads are recommended. Also, washing one load of laundry a day is much better for your system than having a “wash day.” Another thing to consider is a lint trap on the outflow of your clothes washer, as synthetic fibers in many fabrics do not break down in the tank at all and help clog drain fields over time.
My brother-in-law ran their wash water to the fruit trees/garden Anyone see a problem? What about other gray water?
If you live in an area without sewer service who can tell you not to drain your washing machine onto the yard?