I appreciate your good humor.
Honestly, though, we don’t send money to the national. We send money to our district and annual conference. The region (annual conference) has a “tax” they pay to keep denominational level cooperative agencies running (missionaries, charities, bishops’ fund and the like), BUT the region does not have to pay their entire bill. It’s voluntary.
The one exception is that one of the cooperative agencies might put out an appeal for something like Katrina Hurricane relief, and then an individual or a local church might send them money. But it is not required.
It is called 'voluntary' but during my time on the financial committee, the pressure on the local church and the district to 'pay up' was extremely high.
We chose to withhold our support for a time because of things the national leadership was doing, and they threatened things like changing our pastor's retirement allocation. The pastor left the church before that was resolved, and we left the UM soon after that.