What about old drunkards like Ted Kennedy?
Why not limit the number of Liquor Stores within a 20 mile radius of The Swimmer? Or only allow him to but 30 bottles of Chivas a week?
My plan is inbed a chip into everyones arm. Program what everyone is allowed to eat and drink (determined by the fine people in Congress). Everytime you enter a fastfood place or liquor store , it automatically registers on the chip.
So if you go to your limit of Burger King visits, you can then purchase Fast Food Credits from someone who does not go to fast food places often... It works so well for global warming, it will work GREAT for a Double Fat Burger with Chili and Cheese!
Liquor stores and bars are about the most regulated businesses around. Somehow people still manage to find what they want to drink. Regulating the number of "fast" food joints will make lines longer and may increase prices. Cut down on consumption? Not likely.
When Ted Kennedy dies, the liquor stores in DC, VA, MD, MA, and FL will be draped in black. Stocks of the company that makes Chivas Regal will decline. Scotland will have a national day of mourning.
Good idea, but I will call them Fat Credits, sounds better. I can start marketing them right away, all I have to do is say I don't frequent fast food joints and sell Fat Credits for $10 a credit.