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Variation on the old Knock-Knock Joke:

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Who’s there?

Wide Stance Larry. What’s your name big boy?

Police Officer

Kinky!

No really I’m a cop, here’s my business card.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Who’s there?

Humph, well it’s Senator Craig. Here’s my “Don’t you know who I am? business card.

I don’t care who you are still under arrest.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

OK, Who’s there?

This is the very hetero Senator Craig. Yes I tapped my foot and I touched my foot to yours and then I seductively ran my hand under your stall but you misunderstood. I have a nervous condition, I have an extra wide stand because I’m a very big man, a very, very big man with very large “parts” and I was only inspecting the toilet stall for extra toilet paper because I’m all out. Can you spare a square?

I’m not buying it.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Senator Craig? Is that you?

No this is average Joe citizen Larry.

And?

I will admit to tapping, touching feet and seductively “thrusting” my hand under your stall in a hither go sort of way and I’m going to plead guilty. We can still keep this quite though right?

Right!!!

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Not you again?

Tap! Tap! Tap!

OK, who’s there?

This is the esteemed Senator Larry Craig.

OK?

I just wanted to let you know that I’m reversing my guilty plea.

You can’t do that. You already plead guilty.

Just watch me.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Oh Jeeze! Who’s there?

This is Senator Craig. Even though I plead guilty even though I’m not guilty even though I said I was, I’m going to resign anyway.

OK good for you. Have a nice day.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

#@*&%#_!. What do you want now?

This is Senator Craig with my wife and children who I’ve convinced of my innocence so I “may” resign but I never said I “would” resign.

Go away! Stop tapping at me!

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Hello, Pizza Hut

“Arlen Specter is now willing to “come out” in my defense

I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Yes Senator Craig. What do you have to say this time?

Even though I’m too incompetent to dial a phone, I wanted to let you know I’ve got friends in high places.

M’OK

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Senator Craig, I swear if I hear from you one more time!

No, this is Senator Arlen Specter. I’m “coming out” in Larry’s defense.

Not you too! Hey stop touching my foot!