Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Why I'm A Conservative
Townhall.com ^ | August 31, 2007 | Burt Prelutsky

Posted on 08/31/2007 5:24:51 AM PDT by Kaslin

Every so often I hear from a self-anointed right-wing commissar that I'm not really a conservative simply because he's disagreed with something I wrote. The most annoying aspect of being called on the carpet is that it serves to remind me that some of those on the right can be every bit as dogmatic and self-righteous as the pinheads on the left.

So, I will now list my core beliefs and you can all decide for yourselves whether when I claim to be a conservative, I'm guilty of misrepresentation.

For openers, I'm in favor of capital punishment. The sixth commandment, by the way, doesn't really say that thou shalt not kill. When correctly translated, it states that thou shalt not murder. I can not imagine how anybody can argue that a person who commits cold-blooded homicide is entitled to out-live his innocent victim by 40 or 50 years.

Next, I do not understand why a so-called civilized society allows pedophiles to run loose. It always confounds me that so many on the right seem so much more concerned with the safety of embryos than they are with protecting actual children. I, for one, do not regard electronic monitors or court orders dictating how many yards from schools, parks and playgrounds, these perverts are allowed to come, as appropriate safeguards. What I regard as appropriate would be a dungeon or, better yet, a cemetery plot.

Speaking of the legal system, I do not believe that criminal defense attorneys should be encouraged or even permitted to invent any number of implausible theories as a means to confuse juries unless they swear on a Bible that they themselves actually believe that the rape or murder was committed by members of a Colombian drug cartel, an Albanian albino or a gang of Martians.

Furthermore, as a conservative, I believe in school vouchers. I can't be the only person who's sick and tired of listening to liberal politicians praising public education to the heavens while, at the same time, they've got their own children safely ensconced in private schools.

I am opposed to foreign aid. There are only a small handful of nations we can honestly regard as allies. Why on earth should we send billions of our tax dollars to the rest or underwrite the U.N., a haven for thousands of scoundrels who definitely have no business living in a glass house.

I wish I didn't ever again have to listen to people prattle on about the mortality rate in this country, implying that we'd all live much longer if only we had socialized medicine, otherwise known as universal health care. The only reason we don't all live to be 100 is either because we are cursed with inferior genes or because we eat and smoke too much. Heck, when you factor in drugs, booze and the way most of us drive, it's a wonder so many of us even survive our twenties.

As a conservative, I know what my position on abortions is supposed to be, but, frankly, in this day and age of the Pill and all the other readily available contraceptive products, I have no idea why it even remains an issue. It just seems to me that unwanted pregnancies, like AIDS and other STDs, are easily prevented, and it's high time we simply moved on.

I am for doing whatever it takes to close the borders and for utilizing nuclear energy. The former would go a long way to improving the quality of life here in America and the latter would free us of our dependence on places like Saudi Arabia and people like Hugo Chavez.

I oppose the federal government's misguided attempts at social engineering and I would do away with dual-citizenship and bilingual education. While I was at it, I would place the ACLU on the attorney general's list of terrorist organizations.

I would make English our official language, and I would out-law all those things that require you to hit button #1 for English, #2 for Spanish. Is there, I ask you, a single Spanish-speaking nation on the face of the earth that employs similar devices?

I would acknowledge that a state of war exists between Islamic fundamentalism and the civilized world, and I would do whatever is required to win it.

Before signing off, I wish to make it clear that I'm explaining my credentials as a conservative, not as a Republican. There's no reason at all to boast about belonging to a party that saw the Republicans in Washington trying to suck up to the Democrats for the first six years of Bush's administration. Just thinking about John McCain and his Gang of 14 is enough to make me gag.

The only reason I have for voting for people with (R) after their name is because those with (D) somehow manage to be even worse.

Finally, because I'm not just a conservative, but a dog-loving conservative, I'm disgusted that Michael Vick, a vile thug if ever there was one, was allowed to plea bargain his way out of the sentence he deserved. Forget prison. If it had been up to me, he would have been driven to the local vet to be fixed.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: conservatism; prelutsky
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-34 next last

1 posted on 08/31/2007 5:24:53 AM PDT by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I am a Conservative: A Conservative is someone who holds on to the best of the past while being open to the best of the future.


2 posted on 08/31/2007 5:29:20 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I’m with Burt.


3 posted on 08/31/2007 5:30:00 AM PDT by Dudoight
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
He got flamed for his backing of Rudy Guiliani. There may be sound reasons not to support him as a GOP candidate but it has to be admitted a GOP standard bearer always compares favorably beside the Democrat. His flaws are likely to pale next to that of Hillary Clinton. When I'm asked about her, my view honestly is: keep her away from the White House. Whoever our party's nominee is, I have this feeling the latter objective will unite and energize conservatives in this country.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

4 posted on 08/31/2007 5:30:07 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I’m with him, except I am no longer a fan of capital punishment, for technical reasons, not moral ones. Also, the banning of “Press 1 for English” is pretty stupid, and you do find this is countries all over Europe. But I think this one was more of a joke from him.


5 posted on 08/31/2007 5:34:27 AM PDT by Paradox (Politics: The art of convincing the populace that your delusions are superior to others.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paradox
He left one thing out: liberals should get a lobotomy: have the rage and hate center removed from their brains. It would make them much more bearable to keep around.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

6 posted on 08/31/2007 5:36:14 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Great read...thanks for the post and I’m with Burt


7 posted on 08/31/2007 5:40:26 AM PDT by Kimmers
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
The only reason I have for voting for people with (R) after their name is because those with (D) somehow manage to be even worse.

Bump

8 posted on 08/31/2007 5:40:48 AM PDT by colorcountry (Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I’m still voting for the conservative of MY choice despite a few ideological differences.


9 posted on 08/31/2007 5:51:40 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Greed is NOT a conservative ideal.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Go Burt!!


10 posted on 08/31/2007 5:52:55 AM PDT by USMCWife6869 (Godspeed Sand Sharks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I stand with Bert and President Bush.


11 posted on 08/31/2007 5:53:18 AM PDT by Chuck54
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: colorcountry

Sadder words were never spoken, but alas true.


12 posted on 08/31/2007 5:55:53 AM PDT by Stop Liberalism (Liberalism is a disease, Help find a Cure!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: goldstategop
liberals should get a lobotomy: have the rage and hate center removed from their brains

Geez, dude, if you did that you'd remove 90% of the tissue mass from an already under-sized organ.

13 posted on 08/31/2007 5:57:27 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (DemocraticUnderground.com is an internet hate site.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Kimmers

I agree with many of the things that Burt said, but did you notice that he believes in abortion? In killing babies? Yet he would severely punish Vick for his cruelty to dogs, while allowing a woman to kill a baby. Doesn’t compute.


14 posted on 08/31/2007 6:01:14 AM PDT by MondoQueen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek
This author is guilty of exactly the error that is behind most fights about who is conservative and who is not. He thinks that it is his position on specific controversial issues that proves he is a conservative. He could have written the piece in the buff from a nudist camp, for all I know.

Conservative is a philosophy of living and of government. If you subscribe to its principles, they control positions one takes on issues, though they are debatable. Get that backwards and you can see some pretty silly stuff.

Someone here likes to call Romney a socialist, probably because he does not like his health insurance plan. How can one call a man who made his fortuen as a venture capitalist is beyond me. He can't see the forest for the trees. He will perfer some candidate who has spent his whole life working for the government to a real died in the wool, practicing capitalist,

15 posted on 08/31/2007 6:03:19 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (Have you have gotten mixed up in a mish-masher?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
Well, Burt isn't a conservative as his attempted rationale makes clear.

He opposes public schools, not because they are not the function of government, but because they do not work. That indicates a lack of principle.

He opposes foreign aid because the recipients are scoundrels and thieves, not because it is wrong to give it away. Would he support it if the recipients were paragons of virtue?

Would he hold any of his positions if the policy in question actually worked? I think he would not. I think he would support the policy. That makes him an unprincipled pragmatist, not a conservative.

16 posted on 08/31/2007 6:03:36 AM PDT by jammer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I’d vote for this guy.

Of course, he’s a bit casual about the “birth-control/abortion” thing, since the reality is that people are still getting illegitimately pregnant at an out-of-control rate - apparently since BC.


17 posted on 08/31/2007 6:09:50 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MondoQueen

I didn’t notice that. Can you point me to where he said it? Thanks.


18 posted on 08/31/2007 6:10:47 AM PDT by ShandaLear (Extremists always meet each other full circle.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

You’re not a real conservative unless you believe that rape is a proper punishment for any and all crimes.


19 posted on 08/31/2007 6:14:14 AM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MondoQueen

I don’t think he said anything to say he believes in abortion. His implication is that too big a deal is made over it.

As for Vick, all he suggested was neutering him. I’m not sure about that, but I definitely like that idea for any sexual predators.


20 posted on 08/31/2007 6:15:26 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-34 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson