“Amen! When parents make children (as opposed to the marriage) the center of their lives, it puts a huge burden on the kids, from childhood through adulthood.”
That’s a very interesting insight! You are right, it would place a burden on the kids. Kinda like they have to keep tap-dancing—doing well in sports, getting good grades, giving the parents stuff to brag about—in order to keep the parents occupied and happy.
Abigail Adams --> That’s a very interesting insight! You are right, it would place a burden on the kids. Kinda like they have to keep tap-dancing—doing well in sports, getting good grades, giving the parents stuff to brag about—in order to keep the parents occupied and happy.
Have been thinking all afternoon about this and have concluded that there is a lot of truth to your comments. We stood by 2 basic precepts with our kids.
#1 ~ A parent's first responsibility is to protect their child from the world.
The second is to protect the world from their child.
#2 ~ It's the parent's job to comfort their child, not vice-versa.
Hopefully, when they're grown they will return the favor.
While it's important to instill confidence in the child's ability to win and do well, living vicariously through them as if they are an extension of yourself will certainly wreck a marriage.
>>That’s a very interesting insight! You are right, it would place a burden on the kids. Kinda like they have to keep tap-dancing—doing well in sports, getting good grades, giving the parents stuff to brag about—in order to keep the parents occupied and happy.<<
In some situations this may be a burden, in others it may simply teach the child that they are the most important being in the universe.
I think it is good for kids to not be the central thing in the house, at least not always.