Posted on 08/29/2007 10:57:17 AM PDT by raccoonradio
Here is Sen. Larry Craig, before his visit to the gents’ room at the Minneapolis airport, on his candidate for president:
“Knowing Mitt Romney, first and foremost, he has very strong family values. That’s something I grew up with and believe in.
Why do you suppose Mitt’s minions removed that nice family-values endorsement from his YouTube Web page Monday night? Apparently, Chris Wallace of Fox News isn’t the only one inside the Beltway who finds Mitt “an enormously attractive guy.”
But whatever happened to the presumption of innocent until proven - oh, I forgot, Sen. Craig already copped a plea for trying to cop a feel, although now he says he’s reconsidered and should have pleaded not guilty. He wasn’t looking for love in the all the wrong places, he claims, he was merely assuming a “wide stance.”
Hello, Larry, you’re not in Klamath Falls anymore.
Once again, we see how different Massachusetts is from Idaho and maybe 40 other states, red and blue alike, in what used to be called fly-over country, although in Sen. Craig’s case, the fly is apparently - oh, never mind.
Sen. Craig is, or was, facing a re-election campaign next year. In his own private Idaho, he’s toast.
Around here, he’d be taking a victory lap - er, bow. The Globe would be saluting his “courage.” He’d be “turning his life around.” Barney Frank would feel his pain.
Not for nothing did William F. Buckley Jr. once call Boston Sodom and Begorrah.
But there are lessons here, even for those of us who do not frequent what Matt Drudge called Brokeback Bathroom.
Lesson 1: Get the police report! More precisely, stop the cop from putting anything into writing. Once the report is in the system, it’s just a question of when the dirty details are going to leak out, and who is going to drop the dime. And the question at that point is: blackmail or public humiliation? Usually the answer is both.
Earlier this year, a rumor swept the world that a local pol had been caught in a car in flagrante delicto with a young woman who was not his wife. Every reporter in the city went after it. But there was no report, and thus no story.
Lesson 2: Do not overuse the eternal question, “Do you know who I am?” It only produces the desired result if, in fact, the arresting officer does know who you are.
Even then, it’s risky. But don’t hand the cop your business card after you’ve been placed under arrest, and then ask him, “What do you think now?” I’ll tell you what he thought, Senator: He thought, “This is the pinch of my career.” And he was right.
Lesson 3: When all else fails, offer cash. But do it before you get into the main concourse, where they have all those pesky surveillance cameras like the one at LAX that captured Patches Kennedy manhandling the security guard.
Lesson 4: Get a room. Craig was semi-outed last year by a gay blogger who had talked to four male hustlers who claimed they’d, ahem, met the solon in the Union Station men’s room in D.C.
The local Idaho papers wouldn’t deal with the issue, until yesterday, when they dusted off their years-old interviews, along with Sen. Craig’s desperate denial: “I am not gay and I have not been in a restroom in Union Station having sex with anybody.”
No comment from the senator on whether this person in Union Station was or was not enormously attractive.
Lesson 5: You can’t count on journalistic incompetence anymore. In the age of the Internet, every newspaper is “local.” It wasn’t the drowsy PC dailies in the Twin Cities that broke this story, it was the DC weekly Roll Call.
Lesson 6: Lay off the little blue pills. Senator, you’re 62 years old - grow up. Stop acting like a member of the Massachusetts congressional delegation.
Howie Carr column ping
“Stop acting like a member of the Massachusetts congressional delegation.”
Great line!
Here I sit
Quite disgusted
Wanted a date
But I got busted
L. Craig
LOL! Howie's always just right there with practical hints for dealing with life's little contretemps!
Without the police report all you have is a reporter’s anonymous tips about a Senator seeking anonymous tips.
>>“Stop acting like a member of the Massachusetts congressional delegation.”
Martin “Taliban” Meehan (gone)
Nick “Nicky Pockets” Mavroules (dead and gone)
Barney “Hot Bottom” Frank
Gerry Studds (dead and gone)
Joe “They Ran like rats” Early (gone)
Ed “Thanks For My Higher Cable TV Bill” Markey
Joe “Do You Know Who I Am? I Crippled Some Girl” Kennedy
and many more
Ha :)
In my own Weird Al Yankovic way I did a brief parody of
Abba’s “Mama Mia” and the lyrics were:
“Here I sit, broken hearted
Paid to s-—t, only farted...”
(orig.: yeah I been broken hearted/blue since the day
we parted)
Underneath that some clever soul had penned "Redeem them later for valuable prizes!"
I had to get a shoe shine after reading that one.
L
Good one I saw a while back.
I saw a hippie bound for the show,
his arms were broken this I know;
I lured him outside with crumbs of bread,
Then I stomped his liberal stinkin’ head.
“Writing on the bathroom wall:
Here I sit
Quite disgusted
Wanted a date
But I got busted
L. Craig”
Post of the day!
To bad Joe “The Checks were Free” Early, was a breeder, his whelps are still polluting Worcester County.
I saw some restroom graffiti that was originally written as “Free Mumia.”
It was altered to read, “Free Mumia with every purchase.”
LOL....US. Senator Crag pleaded guility end of story, but if Senator Kennedy or Congressman Frank have any remarks or even their couterparts....I’m going to laugh some more
How low can Congress can go. Althoug I’m disappointed in U.S. Senator Craig, soon to be Mr. Craig, the GOP has held a standard of sexual morality while the same time it appears the Democratics can’t live up to their of protecting the enviroment or children ...Nobody’s living up to their statndards..What the hell is going on? Before we know it nobody will believe in anything including GOD and themselves..for those that are athiest out there...I’m tired.......If want sex do it private! Want to change the enviroment...Do yourself first then persude not force others to do the same! If againist this or that make sure your follwing what you belief! Don’t force on others unless it’s the law.... If you don’t like the law change it....not through the courts....through the voters or/and government voting bodies ex. congress, state, country,ect.
P.S. Sorry for the laughs...but everyone from Leno to Leterman has made a great jokes off of this including fake acting scenes.
lol
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