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To: blam

> > Unfaithful Husband

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
>> > making love with a strange woman. The wife became immediately upset.
>> > “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me
>>
>> > a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you.
>> >
>> > I want a divorce right away!”
>> >
>> > The husband replied “Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can
>> >
>> > tell you what happened.”
>> >
>> > “Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “ but they’ll be the last words you’ll
>> > say to me!”
>> >
>> > So, the husband began — “Well, I was getting into the car to drive
>> > home from work and this lady here asked me for a ride to the shelter.
>> >
>> > She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her
>> > and so I let her into the car.
>> >
>> > I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and dirty.
>> >
>> > She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!
>> >
>> > So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
>> > enchiladas I made for you for dinner last night - the ones you
>> > wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.
>> >
>> > The poor thing devoured them in moments..
>> >
>> > Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested she jump in the shower,
>>
>> > and while she was doing that I realized her clothes were dirty and
>> > full of holes and weren’t worth laundering, so I threw them away.
>> >
>> > Since she is about the same size as you are and because she needed
>> > clothes, I gave her those designer jeans that I gave you a couple of
>> > years ago as a ‘just-because’, but you won’t use because you say
>> > they aren’t therightdesigner.. I found the pretty blouse my sister
>> > gave you for Christmas last year that you don’t use just to annoy her.
>> >
>> > I also gave her the underwear that I gave you as a gift on our
>> > anniversary, which you don’t use because ‘I don’t have good taste’,
>> > and I also gave her those boots you bought at the expensive boutique
>> > and won’t use because someone at work has the same pair.”
>> >
>> > The husband took a quick breath and continued - “She was so grateful
>>
>> > for my generous compassion and help, as I walked her to the door, she
>> >
>> > turned to me with tears of gratitude in her eyes and said, “Please,
>> > sir .... do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > So here we are!!!


52 posted on 08/28/2007 9:19:31 PM PDT by tired1 (responsibility without authority is slavery!)
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To: tired1
This one made me laugh...

WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,"HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."

NOW WE HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A NICE BIG BED AND APLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE.

SHE WOULD THEN MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS!

59 posted on 08/28/2007 11:31:20 PM PDT by wanderin
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