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Posted on 08/20/2007 5:56:43 PM PDT by sionnsar
Heroes are meant to be imitated.
Nicole Richie's admirers look like chopsticks with hair, while David Beckham's fans strut around in cleats looking for the perfect plastic lady to bear the children they will then name after the places in which they were conceived (in these parts: Cowgirl's Inc., Lynnwood, Peso's, etc.).
As a kid, I went through a brief phase of trying to be Hello Kitty. I tried to sculpt my hair into strange, high pigtails and copped a blank stare, arms hanging at sides, head always turned to the side. My classmates found it creepy, so I dropped it after, like, two days.
But in some cases, it seems, supporters cannot only emulate an idol's behavior or lifestyle, but can also genetically resemble their hero.
So. I'm sorry to report that President Bush's most loyal supporters look just like him: White, male, middle-aged and slightly stupid (sorry guys, I calls 'em like I sees 'em).
Yes, just as white, middle-aged men everywhere were recovering from Karl Rove's rapping and dancing routine, an AP-Ipsos poll delivered yet another blow to the already culturally maligned group when it revealed that they are more likely to be supporters of Bush than, well, almost anyone else.
If you're conservative, an evangelical Christian, white and in your 40s, you could be a Bushie. Live in a rural area? Married? From the South or the West part of the U.S.? Go to a church at least once a week? Then you're more likely to support both the president and whatever it is he thinks he's doing in Iraq.
Perhaps you hadn't realized this until now. Go ahead. Take a moment. You may start shrieking like a schoolgirl at the sheer horror of it all. It's OK -- no one will hold it against you. I felt the same when I found out that I agreed with a couple of things Pat Buchanan and Newt Gingrich said recently. Such are these times of chaos and madness.
I promise that if I ever see the dark day when I agree with that boney GOP mouthpiece whose name I won't mention -- you know, the blond broad who looks like a D.C. prostitute -- I'll start cutting and snorting lines of Drano crystals. Back to the July poll... .
I couldn't wrest a full set of results from the tightly clenched fists of the folks at The Associated Press' polling department (I tried), but fortunately, the AP story breaking down the results was a hoot on its own. It quoted a Columbia University poli-sci prof, Robert Shapiro, who says, "Bush's strongest Republican supporters probably won't abandon him unless there is a major scandal."
Oh. A major scandal. COME ON.
I say this not to Mr. Shapiro, who I'm sure is correct in his estimation of Bush backers. The all-capped exasperation is aimed at the fact that he's probably spot on.
These guys remain supportive despite the fact that Bush's administration is stinkier than hot garbage. He rewarded crony after crony with positions in his administration (Federal Emergency Management Agency director Michael Brown, Treasury Secretary John Snow, Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Lester Crawford, William Steiger, special assistant at the Department of Health and Human Services, etc.).
The few decent people who found a job with Bush ended up resigning -- I had high hopes for you, Colin Powell, but oh, how you were used.
Bush continues to keep Attorney General Alberto Gonzales employed, despite clear evidence that the guy is lying about the reasons behind the firing of the U.S. attorneys who weren't deemed Bush loyalists, about just what he was doing at former AG John Ashcroft's bedside the night he (according to other sources) was trying to force the ailing Ashcroft into approving the president's warrantless surveillance program and about the fact that he knew about FBI violations of civil liberties under the Patriot Act.
Oh, yes, and then there's that matter of Bush's asinine "war on terror."
About the only thing Bush hasn't done (as far as we know) is have a fling with an intern. If only.
That's me, except for the M.B.A. from Harvard.
Was this actually printed in the PI??
I thought these types were against profiling...
Gee, and here I thought Ann Coulter was female. But that would be blonde.
“White, male, middle-aged and slightly stupid”
These “slighty stupid” guys beat their “brilliant” brains out in 3 elections.
OMG, I sure hope that the writer isn't a guy. That's creepy even by Seattle standards.
Yep...this is the wildly racist, rabid-Bush-hating Iranian columnist for the P-I. I believe she has become a citizen.
One of her latest posts is promoting the idea that Jenna Bush is having a "shotgun wedding."
That is SO funny!!!!!!
*Snort* That's tame compared to Honolulu's two leftist rags. It is so over the top to be hilarious...............
Paragraph after paragraph of racist ad hominem — and no photo of “D. Parvaz”?
Niice.
Someone who wanted to look like Hello Kitty thinks someone else is stupid?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet there are no photos of “D. Parvaz” because she’s
real ugly ...
Here's how a PI cartoonist drew her: 
Humor is rooted upon absolute truth.
With stimulating journalism like this I can’t understand why the industry is having such difficulty.
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