The Manolo: The Gucci Shoes of the Fred ThompsonFred Thompson got blasted for having the gaul to wear Guccis in Iowa. Instead of criticizing Fred, and condescending to the “rubes and hayseeds at the Iowa State Fair”, the media should recognize that “Fred is the man of sound judgment, at least in the matter of feetwear,” according to the only man with an opinion that matters, The Manolo.
By The Manolo
Manolo says, two things immediately leap into the mind of the Manolo regarding the news that the not-yet-presidential-candidate Fred Thompson made the grievous error of wearing the Gucci loafers to do his non-campaigning at the Iowa State Fair (which is dollar to the donuts the best state fair in the state!)
First, the Manolo did not know that they made the Gucci loafers in the size 13, which is the shoe size of the 6 feets and 6 inches tall Fred Thompson. The Manolo thought that 12 was the largest size offered.
And secondly, this is yet one more fashion tempest in the presidential campaigning pot of tea.
What do those who are promoting this story wish us to think?
“Ooooooh. Fred Thompson wears the Gucci loafers! Look at the Fancy Lad Fred, the pretty boy who wears the pretty boy shoes?”
Ha! The Manolo laughs!
Of all the things one may say about Fred Thompson, one may not say that he is the fancy lad pretty boy. Indeed, much of his appeal is that he is the bald, jowly, basso-profundo, hyper-masculine, ugly-as-the-mud-fence antidote to the pretty boys of politics. It is difficult to seem slick when you look like the aged blue-tick hound.
Instead, perhaps this observation about the Gucci loafers was intended to convey that the Fred Thompson was clueless about his audience.
It is common knowledge, this line of thinking goes, that the fly-over rubes and hayseeds at the Iowa State Fair (I’ve got Ioway in my ears and eyes and nose!) would object to any candidate who does not appear before them in the pig-feces-encrusted work boots.
Please, do not insult our intelligence.
The Manolo, who has hundreds of internet friends in the Midwest, can assure you that many peoples in Iowa love the beautiful and expensive shoes. And that even those Americans in the most remote parts of the country now have access to the internets and the satellite television, and thus know how public peoples should dress, and how much the good men’s shoes cost.
That Fred Thompson wears the well-made and handsome shoes should not be the cause for alarm. Instead, it should reassure us that he the person who knows the good value when he sees it.
The Manolo must now quote to you the wise words of the Cary Grant.
“I’m reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes: it has stood me in good stead whenever my own finances were low. He said, it’s better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs and, if well cared for, would continue to proclaim your good judgment and taste no matter how old they become. It is rather like the stock market. It makes more sense to buy just one share of blue chip than 150 shares of a one-dollar stock.”
Or as the Tony Blair recently put it, “cheap shoes are the false economy.” By this standard, Fred is the man of sound judgment, at least in the matter of feetwear.
Of the course, these observations should likewise cause us to worry about those candidates who wear hideous and inappropriate shoes, such as the Ron Paul, who habitually sports the same pair of cheap Reeboks trainers favored by generations of tyrannical junior high gym teachers.
Better, the Manolo says, the man who wears the Gucci loafers to the state fair, than the man who wears the old tennis shoes onto the floor of the House of Representatives.
