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Hi, I’d like to say a few words about Islam (if I may...)

Now, here in the UK, religion was pretty dormant until the Muslims came and started burning books and passing death sentences and generally demanding special treatment for no good reason. But they’ve shown everybody else what can be achieved by bullying and intimidation. So now every crackpot in the country feels entitled to respect for their precious beliefs. Beliefs often lifted wholesale from some ancient desert nomad with a psychological disorder.

It does seem quite ironic to me that the very people clearly make no attempt to think for themselves are always the most vocal in demanding respect for their “ideas”. But some Muslims go further than this and claim that they are being victimized in British society. But I don’t really believe that’s true. I do believe a lot of people are getting fed up with hearing about Muslims all the time and just wish they would shut up and get on with their lives instead of constantly bellyaching about nothing. But that’s not the same as being victimized.

Because we live in a liberal democracy, and thus have certain double standards to maintain, any criticism of Islam or Muslims always draws the immediate accusation of “Islamophobia” — a dishonest word that seeks to portray legitimate comment as some form of hate crime. When the truth is that Islam has a chip on it’s shoulder the size of a Mosque, and it looks to take offense at every opportunity.

Some Muslims, it seems, are almost permanently offended about something or other, but you never hear a peep out of these people when some young Muslim girl is murdered for bringing dishonor upon her insane family. Suddenly, everyone is looking at the floor, then.

They keep telling us that Islam is a religion of peace, but all evidence points to a religion of war. It’s holy book urges Muslims conquer the World and subjugate everyone to the rule of God. If Islam had it’s way, elections would become a thing of the past, and the rest of us would be living in the past for the foreseeable future.

And some people are very keen to bring this situation about. Especially the loud-mouthed, rabble-rousing Islamic clerics, who we always hear praising the suicide bombers as “glorious martyrs”. And, curiously, you never hear about any of these enthusiasts blowing themselves up for the glory of God. They are always very keen to delegate that particular honor. Despite the guarantee of all those luscious virgins waiting for them in Heaven, these guys are so selfless, they can always find somebody more deserving.

Now, of course, the whole “72 Virgins” scenario has become something of a comedy staple, and with good reason. But it has one problem — that the virgins are likely to be good, wholesome Islamic virgins, because there won’t be any Infidel riff-raff in Heaven. So, presumably, they’ll have brothers and uncles and cousins, who are all determined to defend their honor by killing anyone who makes eye contact with them. They really haven’t thought this whole thing through, it seems to me.

For this, they blow themselves up? Wouldn’t it be easier to just get an inflatable woman and blow her up? Then, if any of your friends happens to glance at her with lustful eyes, you can simply stone her to death and get another one, in the usual way.

Also, I think Muslim women in Britain who cover their faces are mentally ill. Now I realize in parts of the World women do not have any choice in this matter, governed as they are by primitive pigs, whose only achievement is to be born with a penis in one hand and a Koran in the other. But it just seems to me that if God had intended you to cover your face, in His wisdom, He would have provided you with a flap of skin for the purpose. Of course, if it gave you any sexual pleasure, it would have to be removed. That goes without saying.

But I don’t want to be too hard on Islam, here, for two reasons. Firstly, because I don’t want to be murdered by some hysterical, self-righteous, carpet-chewing, book-burning muppet with shit for brains. And secondly, I think we do need to make allowances for Islam, because we do have to realize it is quite a young religion. So, maybe right now it is just going through a difficult age —a little headstrong, full of itself, it thinks it knows all the answers. But, I’m sure it will learn.

I think, years from now, a lot of intelligent Muslims will be looking back at all this medievalism and Jihad nonsense with embarrassment and shame, like the Germans do with the Nazis. And then maybe we can all have a good laugh about it. But, in the mean time, I think that any religion that demands earthly vengeance and retribution, for any reason, is not really a religion at all, but an illness, and should be treated as such.

Peace. And I mean that most sincerely.