Posted on 08/13/2007 6:03:35 AM PDT by hilaryrhymeswithrich
hmmm...regarding ADHD and Asperger’s.
As we’re going through the testing period regarding one of our children (possible Asperger’s)...the attitude should not be “Let’s blame everything on the disorder” - although that’s easy to do, because much of what the children do can relate to the disorder.
The question should be “how do I reach this particular child and teach them to reach their potential even with their disorder?”
The interesting thing with Asperger’s is that they respond to a routine. And if a certain behavior automatically results in the same consequence (sitting in the chair, having a toy taken away) - the kids will learn.
Asperger kids are usually pretty smart.
There are lots of good comments on this thread, but I think yours is the best.
Yeah, like a lot of people have said, liberals often DO seem to raise out-of-control children. I hate the way they seek out various "disorders" to explain the bad behavior of their kids, whether it's OCD or ADHD or whatever. I hate it even more when they seem proud to talk about the "disorders" of their little darlings, and even more so when I learn about the drugs these kids have to take.
But people on the right shouldn't feel too superior. The big sin on the right, from what I see, is a lack of respect for education. I think you've made a similar point in your comment. A lot of "blue" parts of the country are a lot richer than many "red" areas, and it's because of a different respect in the home for education. I live in a very Republican small town in Indiana, and the respect for education here is way below what I experienced in my high school years in a left-leaning, well-to-do part of Connecticut.
“However, if you discipline at home, you don’t have many “checkout line” incidents”
Don’t take a hungry child into the store - or a tired child.
It won’t matter what approach you take -the child will act up until they eat or fall asleep.
We have one child (out of 7) who we simply could not take into stores or restaurants...AT ALL, until recently (just turned 6)
Some kids ARE more difficult than others.
Because of our experience with this one child, we’re less likely to judge people struggling with their children.
The child acting up in the store may be a brat - maybe the parent didn’t put the kid down for their daily nap.
But people also forget the steep increase in cases of autism where children appear normal but do not act normal.
You never know what the story is with someone until you sit down with them and talk about it.
That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever read. I suspect you’re a soul searching for a belief.
"Hyper-educated" liberal elitists are as bad as the run-of-the-mill lefty. Possibly worse.
You are to be congratulated for realizing that and modifying YOUR lifestyle. The problem with many parents is that they don't take into consideration the changes that need to be made to accomodate children. They simply drag them everywhere and force everyone to live with the consequences of the child not handling the situation.
To me, it comes down to knowing and understanding what NORMAL childhood behavior is all about. Young children have short attention spans and cannot sit still and be quiet indefinitely.
We could take our kids places because we took a few seconds to actively engage them in something that would interest them wherever we went. And had a ball with them in the process.
If anyone watched us in the car before going into a store, they'd probably think I was nuts. I'd tell my kids we were going to get all of our "Beggings" out before we went in. Then we'd all shout at the top of our lungs (me included), "PLEASE CAN I HAVE IT?? YOU NEVER LET ME!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE??????" for a minute or so.
While in the store, I'd point out things I knew would interest my kids - a sign with a puppy, a character on a shirt that they were familiar with, etc. We might even go near it and investigate it (touch it, hold it briefly). If they forgot and started to beg for things, I'd look shocked and say to the other kids "Oh-oh, it looks like _____ didn't get all her beggings out! Quick! Where can we catch it?" Then I'd open my purse or my sleeve and offer it for the child to whisper the rogue "begging" into the purse so it would be captured. A quick redirect ("I wonder what we'll see if we go THIS way?") and we could continue our journey through the store.
I had a million tricks up my sleeve and could generally pull my kids out of a "snit" before it had a chance to take hold. It takes a lot less time than battling them when they are so worked up that they're out of control.
“I had a million tricks up my sleeve and could generally pull my kids out of a “snit” before it had a chance to take hold. It takes a lot less time than battling them when they are so worked up that they’re out of control.”
that’s definitely a creative approach!!
A million tricks you say?
You oughta put it in a book. Somedays they have me so tired, my brain isn’t working...AT ALL!
So I’m minding my own business reading a food magazine. Content is targeted toward the liberal foodie demographic, with the usual ads for cooking cruises and what not.
Then I get to an ad with a smiling kid doing his homework. “Consistent Kevin through the day, even through homework”. The next page is also full page ad, same ADHD product. It’s of a smiling girl at the piano. “Consistent Sarah throughout the day, even at 6 p.m.”.
Creepy ain’t the word. It was something out of a futuristic horror flick, with an efficient, amoral, sanitized society. The message seemed to be, “go ahead and give your attention-starved, undisciplined pest his little pill, so he won’t invade your life while you are preparing your gourmet meal in your new designer kitchen.”
30 some years ago a cousin was diagnosed as having a severe hyperactivity problem. Back then a “diagnosis” like that was pretty rare. I was a young teen at the time and a few years older than this kid, and it was obvious to me that he was a sweet, very intelligent boy, who’s behavioral issues were the direct result of his screwed up mentally-abusive mother. The mother rejected the poor kid and he was acting out his frustration/anger/anguish. Ended up being adopted by his grandparents.
After seeing how it played out I can’t help but wonder how many of these “ADD/ADHD” kids are really just acting out wretched home situations. And then they are further abused when they are considered mentally deficient and drugged, when the real culprits are the elephants in the room, the disfunctional parents.
What are their plans for the future, when their grandchildren plan to live with them until they turn forty, and expect the grandparents to raise their children?
“If junior gets behind the wheel drunk one Friday night, do they simply think hey….he just really wanted to go to that party and he didn’t hurt anyone that time…no big deal?”
Not any parents I know well, liberal OR conservative, although it’s usually the richer parents with more influence who try to get Junior out of trouble for driving drunk.
Personally speaking I do not have issues with what I read you calling "Hyper-educated", a child needs to have discipline not just for 'social' purposes but to train their minds to use that God-given mind to its fullest potential. What I do have issue with the liberal elitists is they won't acknowledge the mind is a God-given gift and without giving the child that perspective the child is filled with the self-deception they are above the rest and can and will make the world go round the best cause they are the best. There still continues to be the classical medieval times class warfare because it is human nature and liberals practice the ideology because that is how they view supposed intellect.
They demand collectivism for the masses while the liberal elitists sit around and make fun of the stupid laboring masses because they just do not have the intellect to know any better
Just as there are at least four foundations of any civil society they have become the underpinning upon which the illegal invasion is attempted to be presented as good for US Americans: Political: who can reap the group vote; Economic: cheap labor and credit card debt on the backs of taxpayers to fund the education and health costs; Education: permanent job security and continuation of the political/economic benefits. Finally but just as important, Religious: The left to the right have USED the illegal invasion for saving lost souls to filling empty pews and furthering their own political, economic, and educational profiles. Some call it 'compassion'.
Mygirlsmom, your post is terrific. I wish I could have been there to congratulate you.
I agree with scotswife that you should write a book about your experiences with seven children.
Oh, also, Mygirlsmom, I laughed out loud when I read your tagline.
The point about Dr. Spock is that most people think I’m talking about Star Trek when I bring up the name.......
LOL My friend, I’m sure you know what an uphill battle you have, but your point is most worthy of your perserverance!
.
I'll be starting my 17th year of homeschooling and I've never met ONE family who homeschooled because they thought that they were too good for the public schools. Most of the people I know who homeschool are Christians who believe that they are sinners saved by God's grace. They certainly don't think they're too good for anyone. Of course, there are always those types who read those kinds of things into what people do, but thankfully it doesn't stop homeschool parents from giving their kids a great education.
Asked a liberal friend of mine about your comment. Here was his response. P.S.: I DID NOT SAY THIS. I’M JUST QUOTING.: “The question of Amnesty for illegals is more a matter of practicality. They’re here. They work. Many pay their taxes. Wouldn’t it be better to say, “oops. We fowled up in letting you get away with this for so long and now we’re going to start over?
Comparing the issue to child care I would say that the conservative approach would be tantamount to watching your kid steal candy from the stor every day and pretending not to notice and then once the store decides it doesn’t like the kid doing it spanking him and sending him to bed without his dinner.”
I've thought about a book, or perhaps a video. But I can't take credit for something I haven't done...it's scotswife that has the seven children. I have three, a singleton and a set of twins. Would have loved to have had more, though. I have a tremendous amount of respect for those who can raise large families!
That being said, if I were lazy, distracted, overwhelmed...whatever excuse I can come up with some legitimate elements, some bogus, and I let my kid steal from the store over and over again (and had spent quite enough time cogitating and worrying about all of the psychological and social reasons said child might be behaving so badly)...do I ever get to spank him and send him to bed?
Is your friend suggesting that a government or a parent who makes a mistake, has lapsed in discipline, only has the option of letting the behavior continue or simply chalk it up to “my bad...do-over?”
God I hope not. I have 7 children ranging from 6-14...there isn’t a day that goes by that I am grateful for the do-over the next day.
Sometimes it is as simple as I was lenient in a behavior that I simply didn’t foresee the seriousness of or the implications...my option then is to reaffirm the “law” in my house, impose a consequence and then make sure that the other 6 kids are well aware of the rules and all future infractions will be met with a quicker and firmer response.
As to the other meat of his comment...
They are here....illegally...they work, often inconsistently (day laborers etc.) they pay taxes? Sure not the cleaning folks or the carpenters I have come across in the 3 states I have lived in.
Yes..let’s say whoops...we screwed up....it is as much our fault as yours that this behavior has gone on for so long....
And yes...we are going to start over...
I home-schooled my oldest for one year simply because it was best for him. I am NOT opposed to homeschooling, however, politically speaking or given this question many that I have met in the homeschooling world do it because of their religious convictions of not wanting their children to be in the world. I am also aware there a many who homeschool their children because it is a much better method of literally educating their children.
I am sorry that I came across in sounding like homeschooling was a put down because it was not. I know a very very religious former public school teacher, taught in the inner city, that would not send their child to a public school, but there was not one thing about public education that should be changed. Oh this person is a very very liberal even draped in a religious dress.
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