It is in Gods view.
Besides, the memorial is for the living—his or her family.
Including the gay lover. The church, ANY church, should not be forced to condone that. They should not be forced to memoralise a lifestyle that's a sin. The church is for sinners to repent, not glorify their sin.
Having a service that includes a gay lover would denote acceptance of that life. It's against everything the Bible says. And no church should be forced by emotional blackmail into sacrificing their beliefs whether those beliefs are PC or not.
No, it does not. When my friend died, his former "partner" and other friends attended the service. They heard the Gospel -- many of them for the first time. They were told that God could bring them the peace and joy that they do not have -- again, many for the first time. The church did not "endorse" the lifestyle but rather shared the love of Jesus. I can only judge you by what you say, but apparently you think that some people do not deserve to hear the gospel.
A good friend of mine used to smuggle drugs and illegal aliens inside the United States from Mexico. He stole, robbed, drank, fought, used drugs, and committed just about any sin you can think of. Fortunately for him, some of his friends had mercy on him, shared Christ with him, and he is now a model husband and father and a deacon in the church.
In fact, my wife and I visited his church once (it's a Spanish-speaking church) and the lady we met when we came in asked us whether it was the pastor or "Brother Miguel" who invited us. Of course, it was "mi hermano in Cristo, Miguel." She knew who it was in the church that most reached out to bring others to Christ. That's what can happen when people hear the gospel.
I would even go so far as to say that excluding known sinners from a service where the gospel is preached is a sin. Slam me if you want to but I would rather meet God and have him show me the times that I shared the gospel with sinners than to show me the times where I refused to share the gospel because I thought that someone was unworthy.
I’m glad I don’t belong to that church. You know, everyone commits sins—maybe they shouldn’t have any memorials. And the church should be a place that sinners can come, I actually think that’s what churches are for.