When I got picked up for public intoxication and having a 6-pack of beer in my possession, I was introduced to the jail in Knoxville, TN in much the same way. That is where I got the "college boy" line. I was a little punk. I deserved it.
A few years later, I was in the Army. I turned out OK. I hope this little punk does the same.
As for turning him over to the NCO's... I have too much respect and love for the NCO Corps than to do that to them.
And unless the entire DOD world has changed, it would be a welcome diversion, and butterbars everywhere would applaud!
(Former NCOIC)