Fortunately, there are some criteria listed for Gay Friendliness when it comes to colleges.
See here for instance :
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/youth/a/College.htm
It says :
Find your college’s web site online or request a catalogue in the mail, and search for their nondiscrimination policy. Every school should have one. Does the school you want to attend have a nondiscrimination policy that includes sexual orientation or gender identity? If so, that is a good sign. It means that if you are discriminated against because you are gay or lesbian, you will have some legal recourse.
It also means that the school administration has given the issue of gay and lesbian students and employees some consideration and attempts to make the campus a welcoming environment.
What Classes are offered?
Does the school offer any courses with gay and lesbian themes? Is there a Queer Studies Department? Check out the English department and see if they offer a gay and lesbian in literature class. Gay history? Sexuality and Gender? Women’s and Lesbian Studies. Colleges that offer such coursework are likely to be queer-friendly, or at least have some gay and lesbian-friendly students and staff.
Check out the Directory
The National Consortium of Directors of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Resources in Higher Education has a listing of all colleges who have gay and lesbian student organizations with paid staff. This is a good place to start. But many universities have gay and lesbian centers that are run by student volunteers, so just because your college is not on this list, does not mean it does not have a gay and lesbian student group.
Gay Student Organizations
Investigate whether or not the college of your choice has a gay and lesbian student organization. Look on the college internet site or call the general information number on campus. Ask if there is a gay student group. Get the phone number or an email of someone from the group and you’ll be able to get an honest sense of the climate on campus.
Visit the School
You can search the Web all night and day, but nothing beats paying a visit to a college campus in person. Take an official campus tour. How do you feel there? Do you see other students on campus that you think you could be friends with? Check out flyers and posters on the walls. Are any advertising gay events? What does the climate seem like in the school cafeteria?
Check out the surrounding area
Does the city or town the college is in have an active gay community? Are there coffee shops, bookstores or gay bars in the area? These can all be indicators of a gay-friendly environment.
Here’s another :
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955/is_200210/ai_n9114342
Among the criteria for gay-friendliness are :
Is there a college-administered office or individual that provides counseling, resources, support, and advocacy for gay students?
Is there a gay studies program or are there any classes on gay literature, history, theory, or gender/sexuality issues?
Is there a gay alumni group? How about a committee of gay faculty and administration members? If these types of groups exist, are they readily acknowledged and/or publicized?
Does the college have domestic partner benefits for its employees, including insurance coverage, bereavement leave, sick leave (to care for a same-gender domestic partner), and access to campus programs and facilities equal to that of opposite-gender legally married couples? Is there equal treatment of same-gender spouse names in directories or donor recognition documents, and does the college freely reference same-gender spouses in publications such as the alumni magazine?
What is the process for reporting and dealing with discrimination or verbal or physical harassment believed to be due to the victim’s sexual orientation?
What are the statistics on crime believed to be initiated against students because they were known or perceived to be gay? What are the statistics on sanctions taken against those found by student court or college-administered judicial proceedings of committing hate crimes or harassment?
Is there a “Safe Space” program in place at the college? While the exact origin of the program is apparently not full) known, the Safe Space program enlists gay faculty and staff and their straight allies to display “Safe” symbols such as rainbow stickers or flags, or even gay-themed pens or key chains, indicating that a particular individual or office is open, accepting and willing to discuss gay issues. While most efforts are not formally organized, some programs are structured with manuals and orientation programs for staff members. A thorough walk-through of the campus should provide clues if some type of Safe Space program exists, or at least if there is an attempt at making gay acceptance a visible goal.
Have there been any campus programs or speakers about gay issues? Is National Coming Out Day, for example, acknowledged, promoted and/or celebrated?
Does the library have a diverse and large selection of books, periodicals and other resources about gay issues?
Does the career counseling office have resources on gay— friendly companies? How about information on corporate fringe benefit programs (e.g., domestic partner benefits) and the language contained in company diversity statements? Are companies and organizations that do not have progressive, inclusive policies allowed to recruit on campus?
What are some topics and issues discussed in current and past issues of the campus newspaper? Readers should remember that it is fairly common for student newspapers to have negative articles in them about the school. The purpose here is to find out the culture of the college, identify what the social and political interests are on campus, and to pickup hints about what the institution is like. For example, what special events are listed or advertised? Is there a huge sports section but few opinion columns? Are there articles that make reference to issues of diversity? Does the paper give the impression that the college is socially progressive?
What kind of bumper stickers can be found on cars in the college’s parking lots? This may sound a little strange, but students might want to find out what they say. Are there political statements? Rainbow stickers? This unique exercise may help students gather a little more background information on the character of the school and its inhabitants.
Hope this helps.