- Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
- There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
- The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris got a woman pregnant by pointing his finger at her and yelling “BOOL YAH”!