I’ve been in this couples’ position...in my case it was a matter of growing up in a very poor family and never learning how to handle money. When I finally began making a good income, I didn’t know how to deal with it...it literally took me 20 years to get things straight and understand how things should be done...no one had ever taught me.
I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way.
Another indication of our failing public education system. Instead of teaching how to dial the local abortion clinic, maybe a class should be held on personal finances.