Doesn't do a darn bit of good.
In a strange way, I'm glad it happened to me. Before that I was Miss "Just get over it" and had no compassion or understanding of how powerful the mind's tricks could be. I'm grateful to have been humbled a bit. Would've been a *real* tragedy to have gone through life as an a**. ;-)
My daughter and granddaughter are afraid of them, too. I think what is destined to be one's cross in life usually hits by late teens to 30. I think fighting panic attacks makes them worse, but when you are with somebody or driving on the road, it is hard. I'm afraid to fly and heights now, too, but I was a daredevil kid. For some reason, I can handle bridges, but avoid them during rush hours whenever possible. I'm afraid of getting trapped on one behind an accident or traffic delay and having no way out. Otherwise, I can handle almost any bridge but not travelling to get to it. I've driven by myself over the Golden Gate Bridge. I might be able to do it now if I lived in San Rafael :-).
Doesn't do a darn bit of good.
No, probably because you are fighting them which is natural, plus setting yourself up for another failure which you don't need. One of the therapies that seemed to help people was gradual desensitation, a therapist goes with you while you face your fear little by little, probably too expensive for the average patient, easier to find a drug.
In a strange way, I'm glad it happened to me. Before that I was Miss "Just get over it" and had no compassion or understanding of how powerful the mind's tricks could be. I'm grateful to have been humbled a bit. Would've been a *real* tragedy to have gone through life as an a**. ;-)
I've kind of thought like that sometimes, too, and am more compassionate now than when I was young although my first encounter with it full blown was a girl I worked with, lovely girl, we went to lunch together and she dropped her tray. She froze. I picked it all up for her and didn't have a clue. Later she confided in me how she was. I admit I didn't understand it then, but didn't know what lay ahead for me, and didn't think she was "abnormal" because of it. Wonder how her life turned out. Then it got me, and I tried to hide it from others because of the shame of appearing weak or sick. It's easier to write about it anonymously than talk to people in your life about it. What was really bothering me I never told therapists because I was too ashamed. I was afraid of sirens, used to play the radio loud in the hopes that I wouldn't have to hear them. I still don't like them but usually pray for whatever it is for now. That I traced back to losing my grandmother at age 8 in an automobile accident and almost dying from pneumonia a year later, left me weakened, but nothing has fully explained it. I couldn't eat at times when I was little, have a picture where I was so skinny, I look like I am from some third-world country. I don't ever remember *feeling* afraid until I was about 7 and some older kids tried to push me over a bridge, never told anybody until a couple years ago, not even my mother. Now I think they were probably bluffing, but it was a busy street, and nobody stopped to help.
Are you getting help? Just because you think you needed humbling, doesn't mean you haven't learned something. You deserve to get better. Going through life as an a** is an odd way to put it. I've seen a lot like them. They are often "winners", successful, live-it-up types, people like them even.
I am not glad it happened to you and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (maybe just for long enough to learn what it feels like so they know what pain they have caused you and judging you).
I've known several people who are afraid of the very things you are, and they never took one psych med. One turned to street drugs. That made things much worse. The others had pretty full and normal lives in spite of it, outwardly at least. We don't really know the inner turmoil and pain some people are going through. People with physical illnesses get more sympathy and understanding, although sympathy is not good for me. Understanding is because it makes me feel less alone.
Anyway, there are other ways one can learn humility without so much suffering. I do hope you will have a better life than I did. Thank you for sharing. I used to be hospitalized every year for a week or more. I felt bad for the men who were suffering from it; I think it is harder for them because they are (or were then) expected to be strong whereas women get excused for weaknesses more. Now that won't play very well with the ladies :-). But it's the way it used to be. So a lot of men drink (and use street drugs) to self-medicate.
Hang in there, and I wish you great blessings in spite of it all. I should have just written that because maybe my response was inadequate or not what you wanted or expected to hear.