Lesbian Couple Wants Access to Religious Property for Civil Union

A lesbian couple in New Jersey has filed a complaint against a Methodist-owned campground, claiming illegal discrimination because their request for a civil union ceremony on the property was denied.

Harriet Bernstein and Luisa Paster in March applied for use of the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association's Boardwalk Pavilion for their civil union ceremony, planned for September. The Methodist organization rejected their application and later told Bernstein in an email that it did not allow civil unions to be held on the pavilion.

Bernstein and Paster filed a complaint against the OGCMA in June, alleging illegal discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation.

In their complaint, the couple requested "whatever relief is provided by law" including "compensatory damages for economic loss, humiliation, [and] mental pain." They also demanded that the pavilion be made available for their ceremony.

At a meeting of members, chief administrative officer Rev. Scott Hoffman argued that the campground had every right to prohibit civil unions. He called the pavilion a "church building" that "has always been used for worship services and gospel concerts."

The OGCMA is a Methodist organization, with a board of trustees comprising 10 pastors and 10 lay people. As such, the organization operates according to Methodist teachings, Hoffman said.

"Those who make decisions are bound to the United Methodist Book of Discipline, which states that homosexual unions cannot be performed in church buildings, whether by clergy or lay people," he said.

Hoffman also pointed out that locations not used for worship purposes - including the boardwalk and the beach - were open for civil union ceremonies.

Garden State Equality, a political action organization that represents "the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex community," asked supporters to write to the OGCMA, saying the civil unions ban was an affront to the Ocean Grove community.

"It's hard to believe this is happening in our progressive state of New Jersey," GSE says on its website.

The organization contended that the ban was illegal, saying that it "violates the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination because the property is, in fact, public ... by virtue of having been used by the public for many years."

But the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal group that is representing the OGCMA in the dispute, said that forcing the pavilion to host civil unions would be unconstitutional.

Brian Raum, ADF senior legal counsel, said enforcing the complaint would intrude on the rights of the Methodists as a religious organization.

"The government shouldn't force churches to violate their own religious principles," he said. "Private, religious property owners have the right to decide what can and cannot take place on their property."

According to the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination, entities that "offer goods, services, and facilities to the general public" are prohibited from "directly or indirectly denying or withholding any accommodation, service, benefit, or privilege to an individual" on the basis of sexual orientation.

But according to the ADF, New Jersey is still subject to the First Amendment, and state statutes that limit liberties guaranteed by the Constitution must be overturned.

New Jersey is considered to be one of the most liberal states in America. Last October, the state Supreme Court gave the New Jersey legislature 180 days to provide for civil unions under the law, and the legislature has complied.

Same-sex "marriage" is still illegal in New Jersey, although it is favored by 56 percent of residents, according to a Zogby poll.

Here is a methodist church advertising for weddings:

Weddings at HPCUMC

“For love is strong as death…Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it…”

—Song of Solomon 8: 6,7

HPCUMC’s distinctive worship spaces and accepting theology makes us “the church of choices” for many engaged couples.

Whether you’re planning a large or intimate wedding ceremony, we desire to help you make the experience memorable and personal.
Plan Ahead
HPCUMC’s Sanctuary and Chapel are in high demand; advance reservations for the church, rehearsal time, dressing rooms, etc. are a must! Contact wedding coordinator Pam Johnson at (513) 979-8185 or pjohnson@hpcumc.org to discuss space and clergy availability as well as other important arrangements. Please note: Reservations are confirmed upon receipt of fees.

Weddings are not scheduled between Palm Sunday and Easter, Thanksgiving weekend nor the weeks before and after Christmas.

“We affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant which is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman. We believe that God’s blessing rests upon such marriage, whether or not there are children of the union. We reject social norms that assume different standards for women than for men in marriage.”

—From the United Methodist Church Book of Discipline (Part III, Paragraph 71-C)

HPCUMC Wedding Policies

Clergy

Weddings at HPCUMC must be conducted by one of our ministers. The wedding coordinator will invite a minister to officiate or will submit a request on your behalf. The officiating minister maintains ultimate responsibility for ensuring the solemnity of the service; he/she serves as your primary contact for service content.

* A note about wedding planners: We appreciate the role that a professional coordinator plays in overseeing details on your behalf. However, he/she cannot interfere, direct, or dictate any aspect of the Sanctuary or Chapel service during the rehearsal or the wedding. Please reserve his/her services for other areas of your special day.

Required Counseling and Classes

All couples being married at HPCUMC are expected to attend designated counseling, classes and worship. We believe this better prepares you for marriage, facilitates relationships with other couples and equips you to live out your vows. Requirements are:

* A minimum of two sessions with the officiating minister. At the first session, you will get better acquainted and explore the nature of the wedding ceremony. You will also have one or more follow-up sessions to complete plans for your wedding ceremony.
* Pre-Marital Retreat—We believe that a healthy marriage starts with good communication; therefore, we ask couples to attend a day-long pre-marital retreat. Select from one of three sessions held throughout the year (usually in February, June, and September).
* Weekly attendance at worship services—at the church of your choice—is also encouraged. If you do not have a church home, we invite you to attend HPCUMC’s Sanctuary services (Sundays 8:00; 9:30 and 11:00 AM) or services at “The Park” (Sundays 9:30 and 11:00 AM).

http://www.hydeparkchurch.com/event/weddings.html

Before commenting, please read this writer’s guide:

“Speaking of Intersex
Suggested Guidelines for Non-Intersex Individuals Writing about Intersexuality and Intersex People.
By Emi Koyama

(inspired by Jacob Hale’s “Suggested Rules for Non-Transsexuals Writing about Transsexuals, Transsexuality, Transsexualism, or Trans___.” Editing and Suggestions by Cheryl Chase. This article is reprinted from www.eminism.org)
Recognize that you are not the experts about intersex people, intersexuality, or what it means to be intersexed; intersex people are. When writing a paper about intersexuality, make sure to center voices of intersex people.

Critically approach writings bo[sic] non-intersex “experts” such as doctors, scientists, and academics about intersexuality or intersex people if you decide to quote or cite them. That is, consider what the author’s perspective and agenda are, and where his or her knowledge comes from.

Do not write about intersex existence or the concept of intersexuality without talking about the lives and experiences of intersex people as well as issues they face. Do not use intersex people merely to illustrate the social construction of binary sexes.

Do not judge the politics and narratives of intersex people or movement based on how useful they are to your political agenda (or agendas). Intersex people are no more responsible for dismantling gender roles or compulsory heterosexuality than anyone else is.

Be aware that writings by intersex people are often part of conversations within the intersex movement and/or with other communities, including the medical community. Realize that intersex people’s words may be addressing certain constituencies or political agendas for which you do not have access to the full context.

Do not conflate intersex experiences with lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans (LGBT) experiences. You may understand what it might feel to grow up “different” if you are part of the LGBT Community, but that really does not mean you understand what it means to grow up intersexed.

Do not reduce intersex people to their physical conditions. Depict intersex people as multidimensional human beings with interests and concerns beyond intersex issues.

Focus on what looking at intersexuality or intersex people tells you about yourself and the society, rather than what it tells you about intersex people. Turn analytical gaze away from intersex bodies or genders and toward doctors, scientists, and academics who theorize about intersexuality.

Do not represent intersex people as all the same. How people experience being born intersex is at least as diverse as how people experience being born non-intersex, and is impacted by various social factors such as race, class, ability, and sexual orientation, as well as actual medical conditions and personal factors. Do not assume that one intersex person you happen to meet represents all or even most intersex people.

Assume that some of your readers will themselves be intersex, and expect that you may be criticized by some of them. Listen to intersex people when they criticize your work, and consider it a gift and a compliment. If they thought you had nothing to contribute, they would not bother to engage you in the first place.

No writings about intersexuality or intersex people should make light of the immediate crisis: five children are being mutlilated every day in the United States Alone. Think about what you can do to help stop that.
Emi Koyama is the former intern for Intersex Society of North America and is the director of Intersex Initiative. She is responsible for Eminism.org and other online and offline activist materials and can be contacted at emi@ipdx.org“

Let’s be nice, we don’t want to offend anything.

In any case, using your logic a Church bookstore would need to carry Playboy magazines.

Nope, but the church bookstore would be required to sell books to people not of that store's faith tradition, at the same terms and conditions that they sell to their targeted audience.

For instance, when I lived in Utah, there was at least one store I knew that sold what the LDS members call "temple garments". They are actually the undergarments worn every day by faithful believing Mormons who have been through a special ceremony at one of their temples. In Mitt Romney threads, where Mormon-bashing goes on, some posters have refered to "magic underwear", and such.

Now, the keepers of that shop want to sell to only members of the faith, so it's my understanding that they only sell to those with a "temple recommend", which is a document one gets from one's bishop, for completing an interview that demonstrates that a person is in accord with the teachings of that faith. They would refuse to sell to me.

Now, if I started a lawsuit, claiming that I was being discriminated on the basis of religion (I'm not, nor have I ever been a Mormon), I would not expect any relief in Utah-based courts, but what if I did this in another state where there was such a shop? Would I prevail? Especially if I were to appeal it to a liberal state Supreme Court that had just ruled against Mormons?

I apologize to all of my LDS friends here who take issue with my analogy, I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. This is not "my logic" (my logic says, if I want a pair of long underwear, I should go to Sears!) but what I envision will be the logic used when this case makes it to the NJ Supreme Court that just ruled a short time ago that civil union = marriage.

You are confusing two issues into one.

A Church is not a banquet hall and a banquet hall is not a Church.

If a this particular religious place is in fact a Church I don’t see any court making the owners conduct activities within it they see as against there faith. This would certainly be unconstitutional.

They would have to hold that the facility is not in fact a Church. At that point, I suspect the Church owners would either close it down or sell it rather than violate their faith. Then no one wins. The precedent you believe would occur, simply would not.

Further, I guarantee you the most liberal of courts (and faiths) would not want to set a precedent whereby the conservatives in the faith could force others to make their facilities available for them.

Or to put it more bluntly, the liberals in the liberal Churches want nothing less than full and absolute control and would fight any ruling like this tooth and nail.

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