Posted on 07/05/2007 3:20:53 PM PDT by DogByte6RER
A good parent teachers their kid from Kindergarten on, that THEY are solely responsible for their education. Parents and teachers can assist, but ultimately it is up to them.
If I were the one doing the hiring, that would be an automatic disqualifier. Employers need adults to do grown-up jobs. If you're hiring for a fast food place (or some other minimum wage position), that's another matter.
The family owns the family business and is entitled to use whatever stupid policies they want in hiring and promoting. Another business, however, would be foolish to hire someone who is so dependent (for any serious job, anyway).
You are awesome! Of course you will do right by your little girl. When the time comes, keep the “Americans with Disabilities” act in mind. Who knows, she may turn out to be a whiz at computer programming, or other jobs that don’t require her to speak well.
My son is 19, and has suffered from the effects of parental alienation, getting hit by a car, and some other things. He’s 60 credits behind for a HS diploma. He does have mechanical aptitude, however. A transmission shop opened up here recently, and we’re hoping they can use a kid to do clean up. He could learn by watching the other mechanics, and move on up the food chain.
We’re down to one vehicle, and live in a remote area, so it isn’t easy to get him to work. This would be perfect, God willing.
My 12 yr old wants to go to culinary school. She refuses the notion of becoming fluent in Spanish, or taking computer classes for a fallback position. She’ll come around when she’s older :)
My own dad helped motivate me when I was still in college. I stayed out late one night and he chewed me out for it being too late. I told him that I had no school and no work that morning, and he responded with "As long as you live under my roof, you live by my rules.".
Two weeks later, I was sharing a house with two friends, and paying for my own college. It wasn't fun to be poor, but it was good to be independent, and I had chosen that route for myself. :-)
That would be one of my first questions, but it said her job choices were between Google and Cisco Systems, so I would assume that she went for Computer Science or at least some type of IT.
That's not true at all. Many children of wealthy, successful people have been coddled to the point when they are worth nothing at all. Children of bums often find the motivation to make a very different life for themselves.
"BE A COLLEGE PROFESSOR LIKE ME..!"
Hey, that's really STUPID advice...! I'd also wager that most profs would sooner try 2 get in your kid's pants than help them with their lives...
[How is this any different that the dad who eases his son (or daughter or whatever) into the family business?]
I worked for Motorola in the eighties. I was there when Galvin Jr. (the third generation after Paul Galvin and Bob Galvin) was ‘put to work’. He was being groomed for the ultimate job of “head honcho”.
I listened to him wax eloquent and my impression was that grandpa started the business, daddy make it very profitable and Jr. would drive it into the ground!
Dead on!
I have to say If i found out a parent was interfering in the interview process or God forbid called me directly ... the likelihood they would get the job would be very very low. Doesnt look good at all for the individual as far as Im concerned.
I think you are correct for most kids, but not for a special needs kid.
Kids just don’t know what is right for them, and it is up to us parents to make sure they are educated.
Kids don’t know what their weaknesses are. Heck, we had to take my daughter to a neuropsychologist to find out what was going on with her. Everyone agreed she had speech issues, but we knew something else was up with her.
Now, that we have the information it’s up to my husband and I to see that my daughter is educated the correct way.
My daughter cannot remember things she hears (less than 1% on auditory memory). We have to stay on top of her teachers to make sure they help her learn.
We’ll have to do the same thing when she is in college.
The big thing is just knowing if she is understanding or not. If she isn’t, then she may need extra help.
I would agree with that.
Maybe it’s time to find something else to do? ;-)
I think hovering parents can cause resentment in their relationship with their grown children. When kids reach 18, they are adults, and parents should treat them as such. Sure they might need some coaching and emotional support for a while, but the relationship should transition to more of a friendship, with both parties on equal ground. If the relationship never makes that transition, it becomes unhealthy and unhelpful. Just watch “Everybody Loves Raymond” to see what unhealthy dynamics can develop!
I wonder if this generation of parents are hovering because they have made their children the center of the universe in their lives? Of course children are a priority. But I am wondering if making the children all-important, at the expense of the parents’ relationship and the parents’ own lives and interests, makes it hard for these parents to “let go”? Once the kids are gone, perhaps these parents don’t know what to do with themselves. Maybe they don’t know who they are apart from being a father or mother?
I think as long as the parents are footing the bill, then the parents have a right to do as they please.
Some kids are ready at 18 to be adults, and some kids aren’t.
Now, if the kids are footing the bill, then the parents don’t have a right to do anything.
At 18, my parents were paying for my college, and if I wanted them to continue that then I had to do what they said. At 23, I got my first real job, and then I was on my own. I’ve done what I’ve wanted since.
At 18, my husband was putting himself through college by working part-time and going to college part-time. He did what he wanted at 18.
As long as my husband and I are paying for college or room and board, then I expect my kids to follow our rules.
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