Posted on 07/05/2007 8:53:54 AM PDT by Politically Correct
Al Gore is fat.
It’s Michael Moore’s fault, and Rosie O’Donnell’s fault.
I was told that was farm raised polar bear! How was I to know it was free range?
Never trust an Eskimo with a New Jersey accent.
Funding from Exxon, bad. Funding from Soros, good.
Is it me, or does he seem to be saying that fat folks are flatulent?
With all the hysteria about global warming maybe this is an idea that will come soon:
What, you may ask, is the connection between the lingerie industry, the porn industry and global warming? Well, it is hard to ignore the impact that fashion has had on what the perception of what is desirable and what isn’t. Think about it, do you think your great grandmother shaved her legs when styles were for dresses to cover your legs? Of course not. Now with all the talk of social responsibility we need to look to making sacrifices to save Mother Earth.
So what is the problem you ask? Simple, in the last decade or so the lingerie industry has evolved from something that was a little naughty to something that is now mainstream. Undershort-style underwear has been replaced by the all-too-popular thong and to top it off dresses are a bit more revealing of the body.
To add to the problem the internet has made porn an almost mainstream phenomena in which body hair is almost a taboo. Whether it is men viewing hairless (below the neck) or women the idea of hairless the hairless body is becoming the norm.
Now how is this trend of all-body shaving contributing to the problem of global warming? Simple, most women spend a great deal of time in the shower removing hair. Think of all the demands on energy output (as well as water consumption) this causes! If a woman shaves even once a week that is maybe 10 additional minutes with the hot water going. Multiply that times 51 weeks a year and you have 8 and a half hours per year of the how water going for every female under 45 who does this (and in a country the size of the USA that’s a lot of water).
So what is the solution? Industries now promoting the hairless look should voluntarily switch to featuring only models who do not shave at all — and if they don’t our liberal politicians need to figure out some sort of “bare tax” to solve the problem. Over time maybe people’s perceptions of beauty will change and the “natural” look will be in vogue.
On the other hand, long hair on the head is as much a problem. Even men probably spend as much time washing their head hair as they do the rest of the body. So women should be encouraged to cut their hair very short (scissors can be used so you don’t have to worry about increased energy needs). With short hair time in the shower will further be curtailed — and Mother Earth will thank you.
So full body hair coupled with short head hair could drastically reduce energy needs and water consumption. The great thing is that many women in Nancy Pelosi’s district in San Francisco are probably already on the cutting edge of this vital trend and they don’t even know it — and how they are helping the environment.
Sacrifice is needed now! I even heard that Eskimos are drowning because the ice is getting thinner. I have no idea if it is true but when global warming hysteria is concerned that is really not important, is it?
Links are safe for work.
I know it is satire....
Ted "The Swimmer" Kennedy!
(sheese I didn’t think I was THAT fat.)
My brother, now 82 and a life-long logger, once challenged a gathering of environasties to continue their talk without using the word "habitat." They couldn't do it. Jargon is the last refuge of those who are unable to actually prove the position to which they tenaciously cling.
God help us!!
I always said getting them hooked on Coca-Cola was a bad idea.
Fat Polar Bears are bad for people
Don’t eat the liver. It’s poison.
Yeah, but skinny people are killing snakes.
In the spirit of my "Make Love Not War" roots...
I make love... with my polar bears!
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