Not to worry. I just read a joke that’s kind of funny, unless you happen to be allergic to peanuts. I heard a rumor that T’wit is allergic to peanuts. (Ok, I made that rumor up.) So I’ll defend your honor by telling a peanut joke, and T’wit can be indignantly offended.
A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a drink. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. “You look great tonight!” it said, “You really look fantastic... and that aftershave is just wonderful!”
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. “You’re a TOTAL WANKER... My God you STINK... Do you know, you’re almost AS UGLY AS YOUR MOTHER!”
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. “Ah yes sir,” the barman responds, “The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order.”
But OK, if you insist, I'm offended!