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I think that if the Dems get big enough fishing reels and some good bait, they can probably find that Dick Cheney:

1) hired Monica Lewinsky as a mole to infiltrate the White House and force herself on Billy Jeff;

2) secretly arranged for Hillary to make $100,000 trading commodities with no experience and insufficient capital requirements - just because he knew it’d look bad later;

3) was the real power behind the break-in at the Watergate;

4) arranged to off JFK, RFK, MLK, Jr. and, just to cover it up a bit, the wounding of George Wallace and the kidnapping of Elvis by Halliburton-employed aliens, plus sabotaging Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile one night in July, 1969;

5) suckered the Japanese into bombing Pearl Harbor, knowing that the resulting war would enrich Halliburton;

6) poisoned Warren Harding, so that crony “Silent Cal” could become President (you know why he was silent don’t you - it was Cheney and the shotgun) and so that the real truth behind the Teapot Dome scandal (that it was a plot to enrich Halliburton) would never be known;

7) suckered the Germans into torpedoing the Lusitania and entering into unrestricted submarine warfare against our shipping, knowing that the resulting war would enrich Halliburton; and

8) was the idea man behind faking the Spanish sinking of the Maine, knowing that the resulting war would enrich Halliburton.

Earlier records are quite spotty, so they may have trouble proving that Lincoln and Jefferson Davis were both Halliburton undercover agents hired and trained by Cheney, or that Benedict Arnold was Cheney’s boyhood friend and was easily convinced to betray the Revolution so that Halliburton, P.L.C. could earn larger profits.

;-)