Remote control

Every night around 11 o'clock my wife reluctantly relinquishes the remote control so I can select the local newscast we watch. The scene is familiar to millions of people for whom the TV remote can sometimes cause marital friction and spark a battle for the power to determine what others watch.

On Tuesday, the Senate Commerce Committee held a hearing to discuss whether there is too much violence on cable and satellite TV and what to do about it. The issue of TV violence is the baby of Kevin J. Martin, chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, who was scheduled to testify, but canceled at the last minute for family reasons. Mr. Martin thinks there is too much violence on subscription TV. The hearings went ahead without him as others testified for and against his proposal for federal regulation, which would make the point of the remote moot, as consumers could no longer control their entertainment choices.

In testimony before the Senate Commerce Committee, an FCC representative was joined by at least one other commission member, one network executive and an advocacy group representative in support of legislation that would allow cable and satellite TV subscribers to select their programs "a la carte," meaning consumers could choose the networks they want to come into their homes and reject others. This cafeteria approach might sound good at first glance, but suppose someone didn't want to see the violence in Fox TV's "24," but did wish to see the violence of NFL football? Since Fox carries both, consumers who rejected Fox because of "24," would not be able to watch NFL football.

WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TALK TO WOMEN.
my own work | 20 june 2007 | George Rolph

Posted on 06/20/2007 9:35:01 AM PDT by Neo111

WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TALK TO WOMEN. (Unless you have too)

I was standing and gazing at a supermarket shelf when I overheard a conversation between a young couple nearby.

“Do you think we should have the Taglatelli or should we go Chinese for dinner?”

The man thought for a moment.

“I would prefer Chinese.” He said.

“Yes, but we had Chinese last week.”

“We had Taglatelli last week as well.” He replied.

I knew at this point he was on a loser here. Her question was not really a question at all. It was a ruse designed to look like she gave a damn about what he wanted. She was going to engineer things so that she got what she wanted and that was, Taglatelli.

I stole a glance at his face. Yep, there was resignation written all over it. He knew he was not being given a real choice at all. His, “We had Taglatelli last week as well.” was just a token resistance. Like it or not, Taglatelli was on the menu tonight and he was probably going to have to cook it as well, after he had hovered the house of course.

I looked at the way he was dressed. Blue suit. Pale pink shirt. Blue tie with pale pink stripes (ugh). Brown shoes in an Italian and slightly feminine style. I suspect either she bought his outfit, bullied him into it, or he has terrible dress sense. In any event it had “new man” stamped all over it.

He sighed. “Well, what would you like to have tonight?”

“I think, the…, (she paused to give the impression she really was thinking about his choice of Chinese food) the Taglatelli sounds nice.”

He sighed again and reached for the packet.

I wanted to shake him and wake him up from his female induced torpor.

“Tell her that if she wants Taglatelli she can cook that for herself. You, are having Chinese!” I wanted to shout.

I didn’t, of course. I did not want to be the reason why she divorced him, citing mental cruelty (Often a female euphemism for, ‘He didn’t let me have my own way all the time.’) in some near future divorce settlement.

I say, “near future divorce” because, like many men, he is going to get very sick of being treated like a pet poodle by this woman and start to fight back and then things will get nasty. Women like having their own way and that includes having their own way in conversations about anything.

Have you noticed that many females go on and on about how men should, “Get in touch with their feminine side.” and should, “express their feelings more?”

Want to know what your feminine side is? It’s her! You are a man, not a combination of man and woman. “Feminine side” is a female invention.

Because you enjoy the beauty of life, such as a flower, or a warm breeze, that does NOT make you half woman — A Femi-man. It makes you a normal man! If you feel the need to get in touch with your feminine side, give her a cuddle.

Do not make the mistake of attempting to discuss your “feelings” with a female. This is like telling the enemy what all your plans are for the forthcoming war. It leaves you open to constant attack and ambush. No matter what you say, you cannot be right and will eventually be accused of being “emotionally repressed.” Which is an insulting way of telling you that you are male. You see, as a man you are supposed to be emotionally repressed. It is what makes a man’s world a sane place to live in. Someone has to be logical in order to solve problems without having a hissy fit every five minutes.

All the men that have taken the advice to get in touch with their feelings end up beating up women or turning into Beckham-like half-men, wearing pale pink shirts, carrying man bags around and being married to witches.

Women that don’t act in this way are out there but they are hard to find. They tend to have been brought up in stable two parent families and thus have been saved from unrelenting selfishness, the need to bully everyone in sight and a propensity for manic shopping with your credit card, by the presence of a father. Unless that is, they have read feminist literature and bought into that madness hook line and sinker. Careful, shrewd questioning during courtship should tip you off about that one.

When women start beating you up for the crime of being male and therefore, “screwed up” remind them that is was a women you spent most of the time with during your formative years and therefore, if you are screwed up, guess which gender did it to you.

In other words: fight back or become a Richard Madely clone or worse, turn out like any number of BBC Breakfast presenters and just sit there saying the equivalent of “Yes dear.” to everything Sian Williams tells you for fear of public ridicule if you do not.

George Rolph.

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