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POTATO SALAD DAZE by Tarzana Joe

I’ve written poems on peace and pride
I’ve written poems I had to hide
Of fervent lovers fondest wishes
I’ve never written on side dishes

So, Muse, Inspire! And do it quick
I think I’m going to be sick.
My brow perspires, my skin is pallid
For lunch I had potato salad

Served to me by my wife (that charmer)
Who got the goods from Fannie Farmer
But here’s one thing they’ll never teach ya’
Fannie’s middle name was Lucretia

“Here, have some, hon,” she said, “Eat hearty.”
“I made it for tomorrow’s party
She served it up—aye here’s the rub
From a ten-inch-deep Tupperware tub.

Oh, wives! You prey upon our blindness!
You used to kill your mates with kindness
But now you dears have changed your ways
You’re killing us with mayonnaise

So husbands, look to your condition
No one is above suspicion
Consider when our women mate us
That Caesar’s wife made saladus potatus

Tarzana Joe is the poetry contributor on the Hugh Hewitt Show....KRLA pm’s