[picard]

I can’t quit drinking until after I’ve had a few drinks.

Then I promise I will quit drinking.

[bcsco]

I can’t quit drinking until after I’ve had a few drinks.

Then I promise I will quit drinking.

Only, I hope it's something better than the name in your tagline :)

[LexBaird]

I can’t quit drinking until after I’ve had a few drinks. Then I promise I will quit drinking.

How can you expect to stop drinking, when you have 12-20 million bottles of beer already in your refrigerator? The only possible solution is to declare them all to be soda pop, and only then don't let any more beer into your shopping cart.