At times like this I remember the relationship between Sherman and Johnston, the way Lee and Grant reacted with utter disdain to any criticism of the other, and the whirlwind romance and marriage of Union Brigadier General Smith Atkins to the daughter of David Lowry Swain, former Governor of North Carolina.
I think one reason why so many of the officers of the North and the South ‘got along’ after the war (and indeed, why Davis and Grant were so reluctant to carry their animosity into the personal realm) is because they fought alongside each other in the Mexican War of 1847. Research President Polk and the battle of Resaca de la Palma down in the Brownsville, Texas area.