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Presidential candidate and former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) denounced House Democrats’ new Iraq proposal as “a perpetuation of war crimes against humanity.” “What Senator Reid calls a ‘compromise’ is really a concession,” Edwards said. “This proposal may not give George Bush all the money he wants, but it gives him all the money he needs to keep the war going.”

“Representative Murtha (D-Penn.) has made it clear that our troops are ‘cold-blooded killers,’” Edwards exclaimed. “Senator Durbin (D-Ill.) has rightly condemned the tortures carried out by our military prison guards. Continuing this war for even a minute longer continues the war crimes. I call upon Senator Reid and my fellow Democrats to cleanse themselves of war guilt, like I have, by repudiating their past support for this aggression against the Iraqi people.”

Edwards’ statement drew a sharp rebuke from Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). “It’s easy for this preening peacock to snipe at those in the Senate,” said Reid. “We still have to try to govern this country. Edwards has been relieved of all such responsibility. He can take whatever politically convenient stance he wants, no matter how asinine it might be.”

Apprised of Reid’s response, Edwards waxed indignant. “I’ll tell you what’s asinine,” Edwards said. “Voting more funding for a war you’ve admitted is lost. Some ‘Majority Leader’ we’ve got here. What a joke.”

Edwards said he is also considering legal action against Reid for “defamation of character.” “Senator Reid’s intemperate remarks may have irretrievably damaged my chance to become president,” Edwards complained. “If I don’t win this thing, I’m going to have to hold Senator Reid personally liable.”

In related news, Senator Hillary Rodham Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton (D-N.Y.) is proposing that Congress repeal the authority it gave President George Bush to invade Iraq in 2002. “President Bush blew it,” Clinton said. “Since he won’t admit his mistake and move on, we have to take back the war authorization congress gave him in 2002. This will bring us as close as we can get to the times of peace and prosperity that prevailed when my husband was president until I’m elected president next year.”