“Will you come with me and be my polyandrous mate.”
Don’t tempt me, you seem to have your nut on straight.
“We can have lots of spirit children (if I’m not consorting with my other more preferred mates, that is). WHAT!! Women can’t have plural marraiges in heaven! Only men!”
That conforms with my theory that “Mormon women are used sofas on the Celestial plane”, which I would have thought would be a big humiliation, but apparently not.
“We’ll see about that. I will pray to god in the forest and he will tell me that YOUR religion is wrong, and that MY new religion is a restoration of polyamory.”
How can your god in the forest compete with my god at the casino (which used to be a church, until I discovered it was a Temple).
“Now women can have plural husbands.....just the way it should be! We can cut down the population on earth and save the planet. I am a Prophetess.”
Says you, and Joseph Smith. Silly, there are no Prophetesses, but I am God of Earth so I’ll give you a pass and make you one as long as you don’t put a limit on my Spirit wives (since they were preborn, that means flesh and blood cocktail waitresses can be my Spirit Wives, can’t they? Oooooh, another hole in the Doctrine that will require a new revelation)
Waiting...waiting...
I feel a new revelation coming on. You may have your cocktail waitress to be thy handmaidens (but only ‘hand’). They are not to be defiled!
Ah another commandment...I FEEL the burning in my bosom!
The Danish cannot take part of our holy priestesshood. They are representative of satan on earth, and the seed of the fallen angels. They will be my servants (even in heaven) and wait on me hand and foot. . . And bring me Danish beer which will make me strong in all the ways of the God Thor. What say ye, Utah Binger?
(Hey, this prophetess thing is fun and could become addicting. What a power trip! LOL)