LOLOLOL!!!
... meanwhile, way out on the planet of Kolob, God-Guy gazes down in wonder -- "Ugh, these puny, helpless Earthlings, caught like insects in the Whirlpools of Circumlocution. Fortunately, their bizarre behavior no longer startles me! They taunted me and they scoffed, but now I am beyond their pathetic mortal screeching, these mortals who do not even know how to use miracle underwear! Hahahahaha! Wife number 7! I have a task for you! Submit! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kolob isn't a planet, it's a star, closest to the throne of God, and has a 1000 year rotation. This is why God's days are 1000 years.
2 Pet. 3: 8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.