Much of that was not due to the strategic bombing. Rather they were the result of the taking of those cities by the allied armies. This was especially true in the East, which included Berlin.
Although the Brits did bomb cities indiscriminately, the USAAF used precision bombing, such as it was, to hit only targets of military importance, but that did include factories and infrastructure, so those strikes also killed lots of civilians.
OTOH, Curis LeMay firebombed Japanese cities, with the intention of killing all the workers and their families, who lived in those paper cities. He killed more in a single night of firebombing Tokyo than were killed at either Hiroshima or Nagasaki. But he didn't limit himself to a single night of bombing Tokyo.
The Japanese were very determined to fight to the last child. They were preparing to send out families to fight with sticks before the surrender, after the atomic bombings.