Why does the girl have special status? Do you prefer your female children? Will you participate in the medication of your boys but demur at little precious?
Having raised both, I can tell you that although boys can be louts, girls start calculating the angles while still toddlers.
We agree that girls and boys tend to be different in the way you describe. And no, I don't believe in giving daughters a pass for doing things they should not do — absolutely not. I'm saying that the discipline used for a boy that might toughen him up would devastate a girl and hobble her development, the same way that girl-appropriate discipline would geld a boy.
FWIW, no, I absolutely deplore the medication angle for boys. In many cases, there are conditions like food allergies causing the hyperactive symptoms.