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To: HitmanLV
One common pattern on this thread is a fixation with the misconduct of the mother, though it is peripheral to how an adult male should carry his continuing relationship with children who recognize him as dad. That relationship is valid no matter how poorly the man's wife behaved - it really doesn't have much to do with the relationship at all.

The reason it is consistently fixated on is because it is so damn important. It is a betrayal of trust, physically and emotionally that says that the cheating spouse has so little respect for the other person that they will not only take your feelings (dare I say, your RELATIONSHIP and BOND) to manipulate their spouse into believing they do love them for their own benefit.

What the point of contention your fans seem to have with you is your lack of recognition for the fact that feelings and relationships change. Our feelings change for people we call friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, respected authorities, and even enemies. A man's feelings can change for a child just like his feelings for a woman can change once he realizes he's been duped. And no, your point is not valid that a woman "forgot" who might have knocked her up unless there are so many candidates or she's blind. A man might no longer feel a bond with a child that is not theirs, it sucks for the kid, but it's understandable considering that the basis for the relationship was that they were biologically related.

439 posted on 04/11/2007 8:25:01 AM PDT by Quick or Dead (Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms - Aristotle)
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To: Quick or Dead
The reason it is consistently fixated on is because it is so damn important. It is a betrayal of trust, physically and emotionally that says that the cheating spouse has so little respect for the other person that they will not only take your feelings (dare I say, your RELATIONSHIP and BOND) to manipulate their spouse into believing they do love them for their own benefit.

That's all true, I don't disagree.  But it doesn't have anything to do with the relationship with any child in the marriage.  It's a beef the man has with his wife, not a beef he has with any of her children, notably when they recognize him as their father.

What the point of contention your fans seem to have with you is your lack of recognition for the fact that feelings and relationships change. Our feelings change for people we call friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, respected authorities, and even enemies.

I don't disagree with that at all.
 
A man's feelings can change for a child just like his feelings for a woman can change once he realizes he's been duped.

Yep, and despite the change in feelings, some courses of conduct are better than others. It's better to put the child's interests ahead of the hurt, cuckolded male's interests.  I never suggested otherwise. 

And no, your point is not valid that a woman "forgot" who might have knocked her up unless there are so many candidates or she's blind.

I never made the case that a woman forgets who the father is.  Strange.  I did say she good be mistaken in good faith.  That's not to say she is forgetful.  Why is this concept so difficult for Freepers to absorb? 

A man might no longer feel a bond with a child that is not theirs, it sucks for the kid, but it's understandable considering that the basis for the relationship was that they were biologically related.

It's going to suck for everyone, it's about what sucks more and what sucks worse.  I think it's better for the adult male to absorb more of the suckitude.  Others disagree.  That's fine,
like I said it speaks volumes for them.

444 posted on 04/11/2007 8:32:37 AM PDT by HitmanLV ("If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do suck seed." - Jerry 'Curly' Howard)
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To: Quick or Dead
This is a useless argument. Based on his posts in this thread, Hitman claims to be a "conservative" who believes the following:

Men should be forced to support children who are not theirs;
No-fault divorce is a good thing;
Men should not have a right to know if their children are being aborted;
It is understandable when women have children fathered by men other than their husbands, because they must have a "sucky" spouse - in other words, it is the husband's fault that the wife cheated.

I won't say Hitman is a troll, but he has decidedly liberal and feminist views on this subject, and he likes to argue. Better to just let the subject drop and ignore him.

447 posted on 04/11/2007 8:37:45 AM PDT by CA Conservative
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