Posted on 04/05/2007 6:10:42 PM PDT by Eurotwit
They looked like a Vauxhall Conference football team being led out at Wembley by Nora Batty before the final of the Leyland DAF trophy.
Fourteen men kitted out in ill-fitting suits from the local branch of John Collier, John Collier, the window to watch, and a dumpy bird in a Les Dawson headscarf.
They're coming home, they're coming home, they're coming. . .
Blink and it could have been the Guildford branch of the Manchester United supporters' club arriving back at the airport, complaining about being roughed up by the Italian riot police.
I'm sorry if this is going to upset some of you, but, unlike Ayatollah I'madinnerjacket, this column takes no prisoners.
The international image of Britain as Churchillian bulldog has for ever been replaced by this bunch of hapless stooges grinning and waving for the cameras like contestants cosying up to Leslie Crowther in the final frames of The Price Is Right.
Missing you, already. If the British Commonwealth and Empire lasts for a thousand years, no one will ever claim this was their finest hour.
The game's up. Look, I don't blame the unfortunate human ingredients in this pawn cocktail. They were only obeying orders - which, ludicrously, amount to 'surrender first and apologise later'.
The rules of engagement these days have been rinsed in so much fabric softener that I'm astonished our troops are even allowed to carry weapons any more.
Given Gordon Brown's inglorious record of starving the military of the necessary readies, they were probably issued with broom handles and instructed to shout 'Bang, Two, Three' in the face of the enemy, rather like the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard in 1940.
The hostages aren't to blame for this craven and humiliating episode in our history. Despite Tony Blair's bellicose posturing on the international stage, the reality is that the Army, Navy and Air Force are crippled by underfunding and castrated by New Age 'diversity' policies.
Call me old-fashioned, but that young mother should never have been in the front line. And now the hostages are home, their commanding officers should be courtmartialed; whoever happens to be Defence Secretary this week should be forced to resign; Margaret Beckett should be welded into her caravan and pushed off Beachy Head; and the Prime Minister should not be allowed to waltz off into the lucrative sunset of the American lecture circuit - he should be charged with treason and shot.
Instead, Blair goes on television in full People's Princess mode and utters pious platitudes about how he stood firm in the face of Iranian aggression. As the late, great John Junor used to say: "Pass the sick bag, Alice."
If I hadn't paid a small fortune for my plasma screen to watch Spurs in Europe, I'd have put my foot through it.
Let me reiterate, I don't hold the hostages responsible for what happened to them, or how they responded while in captivity. They and thousands more like them do a brave, thankless job on our behalf.
But I despair at what their ordeal and the response to it tells us about the kind of country we have become.
After ten years of Tony Blair, Britain is now a neutered, international laughing stock. The United Nations and our EU 'partners' hold us in contempt.
The feminisation of our entire society has utterly destroyed whatever credibility and moral fibre we ever had. The emotional incontinence which flooded the country at the time Lady Di popped her Jimmy Choos is now our stock in trade.
I wanted to retch when I saw the father of one of the captured marines cuddling his wife and sobbing on live television in front of a tree festooned with yellow ribbons.
Of course he's got every right to be upset, but he shouldn't be sharing it with Sky News. His other son looked deeply embarrassed, as if a dog had just peed up against his leg. It was the most skin-crawling moment I have seen since The Mellorphant Man paraded his family in front of a five-bar gate.
And What about the outside broadcasts from assorted pubs around the country, as various friends and relatives showed their solidarity by drinking themselves senseless?
All that was missing was Nero and his Stradivarius.
The broadcast media covered the whole affair as if it were an episode of Big Brother. Gormless women cackled away about the hostages in the same silly psychobabble as they discuss 'relationship ishoos'.
One reporter actually moaned about having to give up his seat in business class to make room for the returning heroes. This was hardly the last plane out of Saigon.
The hostages were even given 'sweets and souvenirs' by their captors before being sent on their way. Imagine leaving Stalag 13 with a Lucky Bag.
If you come across a miniature bronze statue of I'madinnerjacket and a hand-tooled copy of the Koran as a job lot on eBay in a couple of years, you'll know one of the hostages has fallen on hard times.
I'm delighted they are home safely, but as I wrote on Tuesday, God knows what the generation who went through World War II would make of it. "We now take you live to Colditz where Captain Pat Reid and a group of captured RAF pilots are giving a press conference, thanking Herr Hitler for his hospitality and apologising for trespassing in German airspace."
Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?
Here is someone that I think you might agree with ;-)
What a disgraceful episode.
By chance, does this guy read Ann Coulter? ;-)
Thanks for posting. At least one Englishman gets it.
The conduct of the government and the military members for the most part was dishonorable.
This is LOL funny! And I don’t even understand the British references.
But the writer is correct. The conduct of the hostages can not be described as military. The entire British military needs a stand down exercise in order to find their cajones.
I’m hoping the malady is only confined to the crew of the HMS Cornwallis. We are in a modern Crusade, and we have British troops acting like gameshow contestants.
He is living the demise of an Empire.
He is a living witness to the death of the British Empire that once was a super-power and now is about to become as a eunuch. Brought down by liberals and political correctness and at some point will be a part of Eurabia.
What better way to end a show trial but to “pardon” your hostages and claim greatness.
FABulous!
Can he wake up the rest of his countrymen and women?
Could you explain all these Brit references to this idiot Yank?
This piece reminds me of Dunkirk:
“As train loads of weary, defeated troops rolled through the countryside, they were treated not as a beaten army, but as homecoming victors, welcomed by housewifes offering tea, sandwiches and cigarettes. Britain rejoiced...the men were home. Churchill had to warn parliament that WARS ARE NOT WON BY EVACUATION.” History of WW2.
Absolutely spot on. Hilarious too.
This generation has no F**king clue.
Was he in the one with Patton's son in law?
It warms my heart to see that not everyone in Britian is proud of what just happened.
I’m withholding final judgment.
Although I think this writer probably nails it, it also occurs to me if the reports of imminent action against Iran are correct the PM would urgently want to retrieve these hostages. *If* it’s true the airstrikes will commence in weeks it would be worth momentary embarrassment to Tony Blair so that Iran couldn’t use these troops as human shields.
They did what jon mccain did. The captures said talk and they talked, why can’t they be called heros?
jon mccain hugged his “enemies” when he went back to vietnam.
Actually these guys are heroes, they didn’t leave anyone behind unlike mccain.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.