Ford Toploader... that's a hateful tranny. Doesn't look a thing like Ann.
Posted on 03/21/2007 9:41:13 AM PDT by Chi-townChief
Give it up! After I noted that giving up e-mail or text messaging for Lent would be much more of a sacrifice than giving up red meat or chocolate, I asked for your Lenten abstinence stories.
I heard from more than 300 of you. Only about 5 percent of adults said they were going to try to cut back on the techno-stuff.
Kristina Lambin: "I'm 24 and I'm giving up alcohol for Lent. Wine, vodka, beer, etc. And I'm on a diet where I can eat virtually no sugar, so there's really no outlet and I'm about to go crazy! I think by the end of the 40 Days/40 Nights I'll need a punching bag in my cubicle. At least Josh Hartnett in that movie had an outlet for his lack of hanky panky :-)
"Thanks and keep doing what you do."
Things could be worse. You could be forced to watch "40 Days and 40 Nights" for 40 days and 40 nights.
Dan Woodward: "I gave up hot air ballooning AND walking backwards ... I do not think I am going to make it ... just too much."
When you resume your hobbies, try not to pair one with the other. Could be dangerous.
Tina Ricker: "I gave up cursing. I'm wondering if I'm a good Christian for giving up cursing or a bad Christian for cursing so much that I chose to give it up! Either way, does it count if I swear in my head but not out loud?"
How the $#@&! should I know?
Just as Jimmy Carter once confessed lusting in his heart for other women, I believe we're supposed to work on eliminating those impure and negative thoughts. But let's face it, if all our thoughts were made public, hell would outnumber heaven about 6 billion to one.
No small sacrifice Chris DiNicolo: "I am giving up guilt for Lent. As a recovering Catholic, it is a big step in the healing process." Guilt gets a bad rap. If not for the mere prospect of feeling guilty in the aftermath, imagine all the things people would do. Sometimes pre-guilt is your best friend.
Tom Brandenburger: "Your column got me thinking ... I have therefore decided that for the rest of Lent I am fark-free. Yes, no more fark.com. My fark habit had grown into a totalfarkhabit. I do at least 15 hours a week of perusing fark."
Oh no! If you gave it up, that means you missed the fark.com story from Tuesday that was captioned, "Tom Brandenburger has one hour to claim million-dollar windfall."
Name withheld: "I gave up smoking pot. My friends tease me and ask, while taking a hit, 'Why not give up something like apples! You like apples, don't you?'"
I guess when you're high that whole "giving up apples" thing sounds pretty funny, eh?
Tim Griffin: "I am 10 years old. For Lent, I gave up playing PlayStation 2. But it's been pretty easy so far because now I just watch ESPN HD instead."
Good lad. As long as you didn't have to give up "Poker After Dark" and "Best Damn Sports Show," you'll be OK.
Marianna: "I gave up sugar. Not carbs, just sugar. Sounds easy enough. Then the owner of one of my favorite restaurants sent complimentary dessert. There was a gummy bear incident. I personally think the point and poignancy of Lent comes in the failing. We're all sinners. It's hard to abstain, and that's why people fail in great ways and in small ways all year long. Lent is ultimately a reminder of that."
You realize that gummy bear incident was all over the Internet, don't you? Shocking stuff.
It's a 40-1 shot Len Klasen: "In recent years I have sacrificed beer, pizza and my favorite hobby -- wagering at the OTB. This year I have given up beer and popcorn, which go together nicely, but I am currently catching flak from my wife and son because I am drinking non-alcoholic O'Douls, which I don't consider real beer. Am I wrong?" I'd say it's OK to have the occasional O'Douls, as long as you're not having non-popping popcorn as well.
Shannon P.: "I am going to give up e-mails that aren't absolutely essential to my -- oh wait, I just broke my vow!"
Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha. I got about six variations on that same joke. Only problem is, e-mailing me IS absolutely essential -- much more important than, say, working while you're on the job. Who does THAT any more?
Timothy Sheedy: "I gave up Bushmills, and it's tough because I'm full-blooded Irish and it's March. As a companion offering I will attend Mass two days a week in our beautiful St. John's Cathedral in Fresno, Calif.
"God forgive me for the thoughts I have on the evil of Ann Coulter."
You mean like thinking she looks and sounds like a hateful tranny?
Oh wait, those are someone else's thoughts.
mailto:rroeper@suntimes.com
Ford Toploader... that's a hateful tranny. Doesn't look a thing like Ann.
FMCDH(BITS)
You have to wonder why Ann can't say "faggot" even in passing and yet Dopey can call her "tranny" all day long.
Roeper only wishes he had a 10th of the following that Ann does.
RICHARD 'DOPEY' ROEPER is an Edwards, major league.
Do the country a favor. Give up voting for Democrats.
Roper is a bundle of sticks.
... and an English cigarette.
Ann does have a big Adam's apple.
lol. see my ever changing tagline in #9
The more bumps the merrier.
So it is okay to call someone a tranny but not a f*****?
Communist despots suck.
Richard Faggot Roeper
A man went to confession and said "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Are you going to kick me out of the church?"
The priest said "It's unlikely you'll be kicked out of the church. How did you sin?"
The man replied "I broke Lent. Are you going to kick me out of the church?"
The priest said "That's a very minor sin. What did you give up?"
"Sex" the man replied. "Are you going to kick me out of the church?"
The priest asked "What happened?"
The man explained "My wife bent over to pick up a potato, and I couldn't resist. I had her right there. Are you going to kick me out of the church?"
The priest replied "No. Ten Hail Marys should be penance enough. But why do you think I'd kick you out of the church?"
The man replied "Well, they kicked us out of the grocery store!"
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