Yep, that ultimately says it all. I am glad you have clarity on it. This is the most insightful thing I have seen you type.
As for me, I am in the minority on FR in that I have no problem with men or women who leave poor spouses. I think it's a good thing, in fact. Anything less is uncivilized - why stay with a dreadful person when you can be with a better quality person? And yes, it does speak volumes for me - I can think in 3-D.
Well, I buried my spouses, but leaving them poor works too.