God gave us the ability to kick VERY hard and fight better with long legs. Ask Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.